Still Holding On

Chapter 12

I hear a faint knock on my door and I look up from my phone; tears filling my eyes. I quickly wipe them away and close the app of twitter on my phone. I stand up and look in the mirror making sure my face isn't red or my eyes puffy; they aren't. I redo my braid and cautiously walk over to the door, only to find Harry standing there smiling.

"Hey you ready to go?"

"Yup." I say plastering a fake smile on my face.

I shut the door and follow him down the hallway and into the elevator. We get to the bottom and he leads us into the gym.

"Where you gonna go first?"

"Treadmill." I simply state.

"K, I'll be over by the weights."

I give him a nod, pull out my phone, and unraveled the headphones placing them in my ears. I make my way over to one of the treadmills and hop on, starting it as well as my music. After a few minutes of jogging, I bump up the speed making my legs to move quicker. I hear snickering and spot a few girls on yoga balls, helping stretch one another. My mind instantly goes back to the twitter hate I was reading today, making my self esteem evaporate. Their laughing and pointing is causing me to sweat even more than I was. I turn my music up louder, replacing their voices with Kellin Quinn's.

But I couldn't stop them from moving closer to me. One of them came and stood right in front of the treadmill and decided to reach over and pull one of my headphones out.

"Did you finally decide to get your fat ass up and work out?" She said with fire in her eyes. I don't think she realized that I was still capable of slapping her across the face.

"Who you here with?" She looks over at Harry lifting weights, his muscles flexing every now and again. I watch the girl as she scans him up and down.

"Did he tell you to come down? I just don't understand why any of them would want you on tour with them. I mean you're like the size of a whale and you aren't attractive at all." I stay silent, knowing that I would only cause a problem if I said anything. I look down at my thighs and watch how they jiggle when I run.

"So Sam, my question is why don't you just kill yourself?"

I look up at her feeling the idea spark like a fire in my head. This was it Harry would be down here, Niall and the boys out, and me gone by the time they come looking.

"But of course you won't."

I stop the treadmill, not saying a word to her, and sprint out of the gym. I feel hot tears pouring down my face, as the elevator dings notifying me that I was on my floor. I quickly unlock the door and go to my make up bag, pulling out the blades.

This is for the best Sam. You're doing it right. I cringe, hearing the voice in my head again but this time more powerful.

I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror; face red and puffy, skin glistening with sweat. This is it, my time to go. I slowly drag the blade across my wrist feeling the warm blood start to drip down. Oh how I've missed this feeling. I fell the tears begin to come more violently now as I start to make a second cut. Before I can do the third, the door bursts open and I see Harry.

"What the hell are you doing?!" His loud voice bounces off of the enclosed bathroom walls.

He hits the blade out of my hand and pulls me into his chest. I feel my tears begin to soak his shirt as he tries to quiet me.

"Don't-tell-Niall." I say in between gasps for breathe.

"Shh Sam." He says rubbing small circles in my back.

Once I am finally calm he places me on the counter of the bathroom, looking for something to bandage my cuts with. He cleans them, and then slowly wraps an ACE bandage around my wrist. We stay silent as he stands in between my legs.

"Thank you...Harry."

He nods and licks his plump pink lips. I look up to him meeting his green orbs. He had tears filling in his eyes; one of them escapes and slides down his cheek. I wipe it away and cup his cheek with my hand softly. He smiles sadly at me but I don't smile back, instead we both do what was right for the moment. He leaned down and pressed a delicate kiss to my lips, but instead of letting him pull away; I kiss him back.