Every Memory Repeats

Chapter 5

"She was concerned that my fiancé was sharing information that I might not want shared," John told her, feeling himself get angry.

"You give her too much credit, John," Isabella told him. Marlena the perfect was just as manipulative, if not more so. The way she turned on those tears.

"I feel like you intentionally told Roman I was seeing Marlena for therapy to cause problems, Isabella. Causing an argument between Marlena and Roman, might lead to her dropping me as a patient." He watched as Isabella's eyes flicked away from his for a moment, and he added, "That's what you were hoping for, wasn't it? You have been absolutely incensed over the fact that I am determined to learn about my past, but the thing that infuriates you the most is that Marlena is helping me do it? Isn't that right?"

Isabella's mask slipped as she slammed the bacon onto the counter. "How many psychiatrists work at that hospital, John? How many? And she's the only one you can see?"

"She's the only one who knows me. She's the only one I trust." It was the truth, and even the pain in Isabella's eyes wouldn't negate it.

Softly she said, "You didn't even try to see another doctor!"

"I did! But Marlena had a good point, and I went with it." He felt like they'd had this conversation a hundred times.

"A good point? So, she talked you into seeing her, instead of someone else?" Isabella repeated with suspicion lacing her tone. "And that doesn't make you wary?"

"No! Because she's right, Izzy-B! I would have to rehash everything I already know with a new doctor. I would have to establish rapport with a new doctor." He thought about the trust he had with Marlena. There was no one else in the world he trusted as much. "And then there's the hypnosis... Isabella, I wouldn't be able to trust anyone else enough for the hypnosis to work!"

"Hypnosis? Why is that a requirement?" John was allowing Marlena to hypnotize him? She sighed. The deeper he went into this the more distance she felt between them. 

"I can't remember anything without it," he said. "That's the problem with amnesia. Sometimes I dream things, but I forget almost as soon as I wake up. The hypnosis is working. I'm remembering things."

"What kind of things?" she asked.

He was silent for several beats, before he replied, "I'm—I'm not ready to get into it just yet, but I am remembering things, Izzy-B."

She was quick to say, "But you won't tell me what?"

"No. Not yet," he said softly. He simply wasn't ready. As much as he trusted Marlena, this incident with Roman meant that he didn't trust Isabella.

She felt herself getting angry again, "Why not? If we're supposed to be starting our lives together, and relationships are built on trust... why can't you share this part of your life with me?"

"Isabella," John said quietly. "I'm—I'm just not ready." He wasn't ready to share it with her, when he was still feeling so vulnerable. He wasn't ready to share with her, when she had used his therapy to intentionally drive a wedge between Marlena and Roman.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami and Eric had tried to be more receptive of Roman. They'd made a promise to John to try, but it was hard for Sami. Marlena saw the tentative trust growing, but it was three steps forward and then two backwards. Roman was still working on forming relationship with the twins, but he struggled with their expectations. He felt like since he was in their lives now they should bend and mold to his expectations, but the twins had lived the majority of their lives with John having certain rules, and ways of doing things. Every time Roman was reminded of that Marlena saw the bitterness rise up in him. He would become snappy, loud, resentful, and angry. It was why they'd had another blowup that afternoon as she came home from grocery shopping.