The Hermitcraft Plays

7: Chaos. A lot of chaos.

'5 VILLAGERS!'

'4 SIDE VILLAINS!'

'3 DUMB MEN!'

'2 CHRISTMAS VEXES!' 

'AND ETHO DRESSED AS A CHRISTMAS PLAY!' The round of shouting ended with Etho, interrupting Joe and Doc arguing about the line change.

'In the Christmas play of hermitcraft, Joehills did decree 10 background characters.' False and Gem sung

'NEIN hermit song!'

'DOC STOP CHANGING THE LYRICS!'

'7 trapped toys.'

'6 main protagonists.'

'5 VILLAGERS!'

'4 side villains!'

'3!'

'Dumb!'

'Wait I was doing dumb!' Insisted Zedaph as he and Tango sung it at the same time,

'Oh yeah... sorry.' 

'And Etho dressed as a Christmas tree!' Etho finished out of time with the sound track

'In the Christmas play of hermitcraft, Joehills did decree... 11 different props.' Keralis and xB sung too late

'10 background characters.'

'NEIN HERMIT PLAY!' Doc yelled, blocking out Bdubs's third attempt at the right lyric

'8 different settings!'

'7 trapped toys.'

'6 main protagonists.'

'5 VILLAGERS!' All the villagers yelled at full volume

'4 side villains!'

'3!'

'Dumb!'

'Men!'

'2 scheming vexes!'

'And Etho dressed as a Christmas tree!'

And then both Iskall and Mumbo missed their cue for day 12, which would've succeeded in fixing the timing ifJoe hadn't started shouting at them.

'7 trapped toys!' Xisuma tried to interrupt.

'6 main protagonists!' 

'5 VILLAGERS!' Iskall, now extremely confused, bellowed with Hypno and Beef.

'4 side villains!'

'3!'

'Dumb!'

'Men!' 

'2 Christmas Vexes!'

'And Etho dressed as a Christmas trEEeeeE!' Etho's attempt at a high note ended in the ninja's voice breaking, and being very out of breath as the backing cheerfully ended. 

The hermits were left in a silence no one knew what to do in, until Grian changed the subject by asking.

'What's the next scene?'

Joe, who was still recovering from the 'song', adjusted his glasses and said.

'The... the scene where the Three Dumb Men first appear... Ren, Wels and Pearl enter stage right.' It took a couple of minutes to set up the stage, and the scene began.

'Are you sure it was this way?' Pearlie asked.

'I believe it was... but I might be mistaken... I got so turned around after leaving it could've really been any direction.'

'We have a map... if we knew where we are now, we could figure out where it is.' Ren held out the invisible map. 'The problem is, we're in the middle of nowhere and...' A pause, as Team ZIT forgot to go onstage, before running on and all running into Zedaph after he stopped suddenly, realised they'd all forgotten scripts. But didn't have time to run back offstage and get them as Ren had already started the scene.

'Hey! Where are we?' 

'Are we ever really anywhere...?' Wondered back Caspar the Friendly Ghost (Impulse) with his best  Hippie Ren impression.

'What is we?'

'We're the three dumb men!' Replied Tango, leading onto the only bit the trio had learnt.

'Caspar the Friendly Ghost!'

'Bazza!'

'And General Melchett (from Blackadder)!' Finished Tango, stepping forwards. All three were doing very overexcited jazz hands

'We're looking for a lot of lost toys... do you know where they are?' Bellsknight replied. A pause. 

'You're supposed to all point in different directions!' Joe called from the audience. So Tango, Impulse and Zedaph pointed stage left, at the audience and straight up accordingly. 

'What is looking?' Added Zedaph for good measure

'Maybe we're all lost... in the void of space...' Improvised Impulse

'We're trying to find the Christmas Vexes... do you know where they are?' 

'What is Christmas?' Bazza replied, continuing his theme of asking what everything is. 

'Uhh... they're evil... blue... demon things... with wings... and they're evil...' Ren ad-libbed unsuccessfully.

'Ah yes, the mystic powers of the universe say that they're... that way.' Impulse pointed at the ground

'What is evil?'

'Uhh... skidoodle.' Was all Tango could think of.

'We need to find them as soon as possible, we're all lost.'

'What is lost?'

'Maybe we're all lost...'

'We have been lost for the past 7000 years.' Declared Tango. 

'7000 years?!'

'What is years?' Zedaph filled the gap in dialogue by asking. To which Joe was about to hand over his director's script, but then realised.

'No, no, we're fine with that one.' Tango held out his hand to take it. 

'No.' Was all Joe said back. 'That's not a good idea... where did you put your scripts.' 

'What is scripts?' Zedaph pondered. 

'ZEDAPH!'

'I'm getting into character over here!'

'Well... stop!'

'Stop getting into character?' Called Grian.

'No! Get your scripts, and continue the scene with the scripts!'

'To be honest their improvisation is very funny...' Ren countered fairly.

'The scene is going nowhere... get your script, and we can finish the scene. And then we're going over the song again.' Joe decided.