Shrek dialled a number, soon after a melody started humming 'Aye, aye, aye I'm your little butterfly' Shrek had contacted the Fairy Godmother who was miraculously resurrected. "Hello? It's me Shrek. Could I perhaps get in contact with-" Shrek cleared his throat "-Fairy Godmother?"
Shrek immediately felt anxious the following morning. He, Donkey and Puss were heading over to Fairy Godmother's factory. "Do not fear, Señors," Puss said calmly and comfortably. "What's the worst that could happen?" Shrek then imagined millions of possible torture and shivered. They arrived at the factory and were escorted to Fairy Godmother. They stepped into an empty room with only a shiny desk, office chair with an hourglass atop. They gulped in unison when suddenly a voice erupted. "Well, well, well" "look what the cat dragged in". Swirling to face the pair was the fairy godmother, smirking. Puss shuffled out of the room And went home.
"Alright boys, you're lucky I own a part time therapy clinic" She moved in her chair. Shrek and Donkey both looked at each other. They felt awkward around her since of what happened. "What's on your mind?" She asked. "Well..." Shrek told her about Fiona, the courtroom, his affair and Fairy Godmother looked stunned. "Wow" she murmured, looking at her desk. "I've seen few cases of cheating that also had the other person in a secret relationship." "We were hoping you'd figure out what our identities are" Donkey explained. Shrek felt sweaty. "Hm? Okay" She said, mundanely. " Donkey I'm gonna get you outta the room-" She pushed him out of the door "- so I can talk to Shrek. " B-but..." Donkey stuttered as the door closed.
"Alrighty Shrek" She sat down. "I want you to tell me how you would feel if I called you 'gay'". "Well, I would feel fine cause that's technically who I am, but I wouldn't mind being called 'straight' either..." She stared for a second. "What colour is your phone case?" "Uh, clear?" Shrek said, questioning the question. "I hate labels, and I feel like phone cases are labels." He said. "Alright I know who you are'' she grinned. "What?" Shrek asked. "You my friend is a bi-shreksual.. You are attracted to both female and male. This makes sense since you did have a wife and a fair share of effeminate crushes but are dating a male donkey. "Huh" Shrek smiled "bi..." "Alright, now you're out of the room- Donkey, you're coming in!"
Shrek grinned and made his way out with a feeling of pride and motivation.
Donkey took a deep breath and trotted in. "Now Donkey, Do you find men or women attractive?" She asked simply. Donkey was indecisive. "Um, I like both! I loved my wife and I love me some boobies, but I think cocks are cool too... but I would settle for in betweens. They deserve love as much as the other genders!" Fairy Godmother sat, perplexed on the situation. But of course, she was a professional and knew the ropes. "Donkey, the answer is right in front of you, you're a pan-shreksual! You love all gender identities". Donkey suddenly felt giddy, he knew that he was pan, after all... sometimes he likes to fuck kitchen appliances in his pastimes. Shrek came back in and they all sat. "Thank you so much, fairy Godmother." Shrek called. "Just another day in the office." She smiled. "Also..." Shrek said with a grain of salt. "We like to apologise for what happened before... y'know..." Shrek murmured. Fairy Godmother just grinned. "Boys, Do you remember why we were fighting?" "Um, no?" Donkey said. Shrek itches his head and look confused. "It was Fiona. But now since Shrek has divorced, we've no need for violence." "Oh yeah...!" Shrek and Donkey remarked. "Let us forget our past quarrels and move on!"
Yeah, let's move on
Shrek thought with a smile.
YOU ARE READING
The fault in Our Swamp (Shrek X Donkey)
ספרות חובביםTW Strong language Shrek, a victim of depression and currently suffering an all time low under his wife. Donkey, miserable without his children or late wife. There are no happily ever afters. At least not without a hint of spice.
