North Star

06 | sister sister

My sister laughed and for a second, catching a hazy vision of her through the rays of sunlight that peeked through the trees above us like a mirage after searching for water in the desert, I almost forgot that I was mad at her.

It was the only reason she ever purposely sought me out during lunch. For someone like her, it was a prime socializing hour, and wasting it to talk to her little sister was bad optics. When I had ditched eating in the cafeteria for outside instead, I couldn't pretend like she wasn't one of the reasons.

I didn't like being reminded that I was the runner-up in our family. I also didn't like that whenever she deemed me worthy enough to talk to during lunch, it was followed up by a laugh whose hidden meaning I couldn't decipher. Worse, it was often echoed by the nameless hyenas that always surrounded her.

There was a good chance none of them were laughing at me. Kanani was the kind of person that made everyone within a six-foot radius of her laugh. Whatever she'd said, mixed with whatever poorly timed glance in my direction, likely contributed to the whole thing looking worse than it was. But that didn't mean my insides didn't shrivel up every time it happened. I wasn't sure if Kanani ever realized.

"Whatever." Kanani tossed her napkin onto her lunch tray after wiping it across her mouth. "You two will probably end up getting married when you're thirty-eight and spend the rest of your lives traveling the world."

"Did you forget your keys at home or something?" I asked.

Kanani didn't look at me as she replied. "No. Just wanted to eat lunch outside."

"Maybe you forgot the car keys then."

Sensing where this was going, Kaipo tensed up. He had heard all about the lame incident last week that irritated me so much I still hadn't had a normal conversation with my sister since. Or, more accurately, he had read all of the

She sighed and pushed her tray forward in preparation for the argument that was about to ensue, assuming I wasn't petty enough to just get up and walk away. I wasn't above eating lunch in the bathroom if I had to, or behind H Building since my pottery class was next. I had already done it more times so far this year than I cared to count.

"Are we really still doing this?"

When I asked my mom about it that night—she had heard me slam my door in Kanani's face and eventually followed me out to the beach when I snuck out around nine thirty—she wouldn't tell me if she thought I was overreacting even though I knew I was. She had just said I should do something that made me smile before I went to sleep because going to sleep angry wasn't good for the soul.

I wished I was better at taking my mother's advice.

"You literally left me here last week because of a fucking guy and you expect me to just have lunch with you?" I whipped at her, words sharpened after going to sleep the last few nights angry. Maybe forgetting to pick me up from band practice wouldn't have been as big of a deal if I hadn't been forced to walk almost an hour home because the bus into Waimanalo had stopped so the closest I could get was Kalama Valley, all of which happened after the sun had gone down.

"I thought Dad was supposed to pick you up!" She threw her hands in the air. "How many times do I have to say that, God."

"You're so full of it. You just don't like having to drive me around even though Dad told you the only way you'd get his old car was if you did it."

Kaipo cleared his throat. Kanani glared at him and he stopped fidgeting.

"Please, get over yourself," she finally responded. "You're not the only one with a life. And it's not my responsibility to pick up after you just because Dad doesn't know how to coordinate with me."