The Grim Phantom {Sk8 The Infinity X Male Reader}

The More I'm In Pain, The More That You'll Gain

Note: Before you read this chapter I want to put a warning about the topics that will be discussed. TW: Suicidal thoughts, death, abuse, self-depreciation mentions of self-harm.

When [Name] got home he parked the motorcycle back in the garage and decided to stroll around the estate before going inside He stopped when he came to the pond behind the main house. It was beautiful with the moonlight shining through and reflecting on the water. He sighed softly. A smile found its way to his lips and slowly left his lips as he sat on the grass He closed his eyes and let his mind rest, feeling refreshed.

He couldn't help but think about those days. When things had been so good for him.

"This is our son, [Name] Sakaguchi." His mother introduced him to the family in front of him. "Pleased to meet you Mochizuki-san," He said politely with a small bow. "What a polite young man!" The woman fawned. "This is our daughter, Emiko Mochizuki." The man cleared his throat and pushed his daughter forward "Nice to finally meet you." She said while smiling widely.

The two children knew that their lives were sealed with this first meeting, Emiko and [Name] are now bound to be married to each other in the future. They didn't mind, after all, they were just dumb naive kids who were desperate to please their parents.
~~~
They pair spent time together every second of every day. Sometimes they wouldn't because of school and duties but their parents made sure to have the two get along Their bond would grow stronger with each passing day; they loved each other dearly...but it wasn't that type of love. They didn't think of each other as boyfriend and girlfriend but as best friends.

Even though it was only temporary, they both hoped that things would last forever.
"Iko-chan! Let's go play!" [Name] happily exclaimed, "I suppose I'll take you up on the offer." She smiled. "Awesome!" He cheered.
~~~
Soon enough they met someone new, a new friend for them. Haruki Tanaka liked the boy, and they enjoyed being friends with him. He was kind and generous to both of them; they felt like they had a real friend. [Name] showed them how to skateboard; they practised every d until they became very skilled. [Name]'s skills grew better and faster than theirs.

Then...He happened. Adam.

[Name] jolted awake sweat dripping off his forehead he gasped loudly as he tried to catch his breath. His heart pounded against his rib cage and his chest hurt badly He felt dizzy and lightheaded, [Name] held onto his head tightly as he groaned quietly trying to figure out what happened.

The dream replayed itself in his head over and over as he tried to calm himself. The image of him skating alongside Haruki on a skateboard flashed across his mind as he heard him laugh happily. He remembered how it felt like to glide down the street on top of the board without fear or anything.

But then the images changed...to Adam. He was looking right at him, almost as if he was telling him something important. Something he should remember. But then...he vanished.

As soon as the vision ended, he started crying. Why did this happen? How come he was reliving these things? He hated it, but he couldn't help it, it was like his memories weren't his own. That's why he'd rather forget than relive. 'Why why?! Why did he have to ruin everything?!? He thought.

'But he wasn't the one who forced me to do it...I only did it so he wouldn't abandon me! I was young and stupid, so so so stupid! Why did I care so much about him?! Wait now I remember, he was the only person who enjoyed my presence that's why I couldn't bare for him to leave me...but I had Emiko and Haruki so why did I even think that? [Name] thought bitterly.

'It's my fault. I caused this to myself. If I wasn't so selfish none of this would've happened. My mother and father did everything for me and I was ungrateful and sought out something new instead of being happy with what I had. Now it's too late. I should've been the one to die in that car...I don't deserve to live this life [Name] lamented silently to himself. He fell back on the grass by the koi pond. Tears ran down from his eyes and landed on the grass underneath.

"Heh. I'm just a useless rag doll for people to use...hehe hahaha!! Ha!" He laughed darkly as he hugged himself in an attempt to ease some pain. "That's right! My sole purpose is to be used! He chuckled humourlessly to himself.
He shakily stood up and walked over to the koi pond As he leaned over the surface of it he looked down into it. There were several fish swimming about without a care He watched them for a while as they swam around.

[Name] carefully reached his hand out and put it in the cold water He could feel the small fish move under his palm as he gently touched them, he closed his fingers around a few of the fish and they nibbled at his skin before swimming away. 'I hope I reincarnate as a fish in my next life..' [Name] thought.

He stared into the pond of colourful fish, "Do you know why I am here?" He whispered and the fish swam around his hand. The tears were streaming down his cheeks as he spoke to them. Because I'm a doll meant to be used for others' satisfaction." He hummed, a small melancholic smile on his lips.

"[Name]! are you out here?" He heard Lorraine call out [Name] and glanced up as he saw Lorraine walking towards him.
"What are you doing out here? Lorraine asked as she stopped before him. [Name] averted his gaze and began to stare at a fish swimming around his arm, he was too tired to answer her question. "I heard you come back but you weren't in the mansion." She sighed.

"Oh." [Name] muttered
She was silent for a moment as she looked at him "You're crying aren't you?" She said quietly and looked at the pond. [Name] remained silent and shook his head. "Oh please, [Name]. I've known you since you were 3 months old, I can tell when you're lying to me. She scolded.

"So what?" [Name] scoffed. Lorraine sighed and sat down next to him on the grass, careful to not get her work clothes messy. "It's alright if you don't want to tell me what's bothering you, just know that I'm here and I won't leave you okay? You're like a nephew and I will never betray your trust." She stated patting his head and standing up. "Let's go inside, you need to sleep and if you stay out here you'll catch a cold. She added.

[Name] nodded and Lorraine helped him up. They both went to the mansion, [Name] went to his room and lay on the bed feeling drained. He closed his eyes as he drifted asleep...and yet again, dreams filled his mind.