Chapter 19 | Sad Truths

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Teenagers are crazy

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Teenagers are crazy. I know it's been a long time since I was one but I swear, they've only gotten worse.

It's an even more difficult situation to manage because all of Audrey's friends are in wheelchairs too. Apparently she goes to a school specifically for paraplegic and quadriplegic kids so it makes sense, but it also makes this gigantic house look fun-sized with the space they all take up. Sawyer and Jenny have been working like dogs to make this party happen, that's for sure.

I try to help where I can, making sure the kids stay out on the large lawn that actually fits them and not the inside of the house. A couple hours pass in no time at all with lunch, dessert, presents, and games. I don't know if this is what birthday parties are like but if they are, I certainly wish I'd gotten to experience them.

"She looks happy," I note, nudging my elbow into Sawyer. He's standing beside me, both of us leaned back against the patio doors, watching the kids toss bean bags into buckets as fast as they can so that their teams get the most bags in first. Audrey's team is in the lead and she's got a crazy look in her eyes as the timer winds down to the last fifteen seconds. 'It's a great party."

"Thanks," he smiles over at me. "What was your best birthday party like?"

He had to ask that.

I shift from boot to boot, feeling a wave of embarrassment. I've never told anyone about my lack of a childhood because its pathetic and embarrassing and it makes everyone give me the your-life-is-so-sad eyes. I don't want to see that look from Sawyer. I don't want him to think less of me.

"Oh, you know," I wave a hand to stall. "The time my parents got a clown and it painted our faces."

Sawyer's brows furrow. "The clown did both? Didn't that confuse the kids?"

That makes sense. I, clearly, do not. I press my lips together and try to find a lie out of it but honestly? I think I'm done lying to Sawyer. I've told him most of my sad and pathetic truths and he's stuck with me this long. Plus, he's shared some of his sad truths too.

"Fine," I relent quietly. "Never had a birthday party. Mom thought it would distract me from school, just like having friends might which is why I never had those either. So, even if I was allowed a birthday party, I didn't have friends to invite so I never got one."

"Ever?" He asks. "What about when you got older and could make the choice for yourself?"

I watch as the timer goes off and Audrey spins her chair around in circles, her friends cheering, because their team won. My smile is partly happy because she looks so happy and partly sad because I don't think I've ever experienced something like that.

"You're underestimating how long the no friends thing took place, Stud. My education was everything to my mother all the way into Law School. It wasn't until I dropped out and started living for myself that I finally got around to meeting other people. And we're adults now. At the most we go out for dinner on birthdays or something. It's just something I wasn't able to have."

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