Falling Together

Start at the Beginning

Dax

As we walk through the door we hear Noah struggling to stay calm. "Maisie! Calm down it's just dad!"

"GET OFF ME!"

Maisie's screams and pleading echo through the whole house.

Shit..

Lotto's moving through the house and through the hall to her door in an instant with me hot on his heels. He stops in the doorway and I don't understand why he does. Maisie needs us. She needs me.

I try to push past him but he slams his hand against my chest keeping me back. I push harder and try to pull him from me but he glares down at me

"Relax Dax. He's got this." He says to me. His face is a little pissed off and I can't tell if it's directed at me or just the overall take on this entire stupid day. So I turn back to look at Maisie in the room.

I can't actually see her. She's on the floor on the opposite side of her bed and Noah is crouched in front of her. She's calmer than the screaming we heard when we came in the house.

I can hear Maisie taking shuddering breaths. And I look closer and see Noah. He's saying something to her. I look closer... he's not talking. He's singing. And he's crying for his sisters pain.

Lotto relaxes and smiles at them. He doesn't look worried anymore.

Maisie sobs a little again and springs up to wrap her arms around her brother. She whispers a thank you while Noah holds onto her rubbing her back.

Watching them reminds me of just how unbreakable their bond is. Even when Noah and I had been best friends almost our whole lives, whenever Maisie was here she came first.

When she was back home they called each other everyday. And if something was bugging Noah Maisie was there for him. If something was wrong with Maisie Noah was moving heaven and earth to make it better.

As much as I wanted to be there for Maisie. She didn't need me right now. She needed the brother that would be there for her always. So I took a step back and gave Lotto a smile.

I'd text Maisie later tonight and make sure she was ok. But for right now Noah and Lotto have got her covered.

Maisie.

When I was 7 I visited Noah. He was having a hard time adjusting in his new middle school. He told me all about how kids made fun of him because his mom didn't want him. My brother was always my rock. We might have been born a year apart but our emotions and bond were united as if we were twins. I could feel how badly it was hurting him inside. And I wanted nothing more than to make it better.

My words were useless. I couldn't fix the hurt inside him and in turn it was breaking something inside me too.

We had a bear. Something we shared. And when you pressed his tummy he'd sing a song. On the day my big brothers heart was breaking and I couldn't fix it, on the day I saw my big brother cry for the first time, I grabbed that bear and pressed his tummy.

Noah's face smiled a little and I could feel that flicker of happiness and laughter that always came when we were together.

From that day on, that little bear was our lucky charm until his battery died when we were 16. We looked everywhere trying to get a new battery but the bear was so old it just couldn't be done.

In the moment of my flashback I was trying as hard as I could to get away, when I heard it. I heard Noah. He was whispering our song and doing the only thing he knew how to do.

"You are my sunshine....

My only sunshine....

You make me happy.. when skies are grey.." He choked.

I could tell Noah was crying too. He was my big brother. My sworn protector and in this moment I was being attacked and mauled over by something he couldn't see, hear, feel or touch. There was nothing he could do for me. He could feel my pain inside of him like I felt his and he knew how broken I was.

So he sang our song. Just begging me to come back to him.

"You'll.. nev-never.. kn-know dear.." I tried whispering back.

The man I thought was attacking me flickered in and out in front of me. I could see that day in my mind. Noah and me curled up together under the tree in the park we used to play at down the street. Both crying together as we remembered that we'd always have each other.

I reached out my fingers to Noah and we both finished the song together.

"How much I love you... please don't take my sunshine away." We finished.

My eyes were now back to reality. Sobs escaped me as I looked up to see a Noah's heartbroken and tear streaked face. His heart was breaking for me.  He just wanted to help. Time after time he'd tried. He let me scream at him, he'd let me strike him, he'd let me push him away. And by not being honest with him.. I broke the promise we always swore we'd never break. That no matter who else hurt us, we'd never hurt each other. 

But I realized now... I was hurting Noah. I've been breaking his heart from the moment id returned. 

I threw my arms around his neck and just let go. Noah hugged me tighter than he ever had before and buried his head in my neck.

"Maisie.." my dad says as he walks into the room and places a hand on my head. After a few seconds I look up to meet his gaze. Hot tears still running from my eyes. "It's time sweetheart. He needs to know. You think you have been protecting him, but Noah has been carrying your pain around since that day almost as much as you have. He just wants to be there for you baby.. it's time to let him."

I cry even more as I listen. Noah's face is still twisted with sadness and worry. But his eyes tell me that he's hoping I finally tell him. He wants to be here for me. And I need to let him.

So after a few deep breaths, I start at the beginning...