Not Without You (BOOK I)

Portland

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts and drug and alcohol abuse

Adam's life background: was raised by his mom, and he has 2 other siblings, 1 sister and 1 brother. He's the oldest of the 3 and takes care of his younger siblings when their mom is gone which is almost all the time. His mom is a drug addict and a hooker, she was never there for Adam and his siblings, so he had to raise them. He would cook for his younger siblings, play with them, he would pay bills and work 12 hours a day, and was overall a really happy guy, or at least that was his cover. He was suffering from severe depression and suicidal thoughts, the only thing that was keeping him from ending it all was the fact that his mom was never there to take care of his brother and sister. He was very passionate about the environment and would take his siblings out to clean ditches, it's a boring job, but he made it into a game, he always said, "whoever gets the most trash will get 1 piece of candy" and it worked. He always stood up for people who were getting bullied. He worked his ass off every day and it always payed off to see his little sister and brother.

||ADAM'S POV||

After about an hour of struggling to get out of bed, I went out to the kitchen to start cooking for the kids, they said they wanted fried potatoes and eggs, there were only two eggs however... it was fine, I would just have to eat a sandwich or something later before work. I got some potatoes from the bag and diced them up and threw them in an oiled pan on the stove then cooked the eggs.

"Kai! Zuri! Food's done!" I called to them. Just seconds later they came running excitedly into the kitchen.

"Are we gonna go clean today, Adam?" Zuri asked me.

"Maybe, if I get back home in time," I smiled down at her.

"When will we be able to go by ourselves," Kai started to pout.

"It's a big city with scary people, I need you guys to be safe," I looked at him with worry.

"What kind of scary people?" He asked.

"Big scary people who will eat you up," I smiled and started tickling Kai. He laughed and giggled. I loved hearing them so happy, they were so innocent, they had no idea what was going on in the world, it was all a Disney movie to them, and thank god they don't know the demons in the world, I'm trying my best to make sure they grow up to be amazing, generous, normal people, and so far, it's going ok.

I stopped after I realized it was time for me to leave.

"Oh, I have to go, I'm gonna be late for work," I said with a sad tone as I got off Kai. They both gave me pouty faces and I chuckled a bit. "I'm sorry, but I'll be back tonight at 8, ok? I love you guys."

"Ok, bye Adam," Zuri said with a sad tone as she hugged my stomach, and I smiled as Kai joined.

"Bye guys, be safe, lock the doors and close the blinds, there's some water in the fridge and chips and popcorn in the cabinet, stay inside and don't answer the door, ok?" They both nodded and I pulled away from the hug and walked towards the door with my car keys in my hand. "I'll see you guys tonight," I smiled at them before leaving.

I took a deep breath as I turned around. It was cold outside, I loved the cold, it was so comforting and nice to breathe in, plus, I gave the kids the heater that was in my room, so I got used to the cold quickly.

After 12 hours of hauling heavy things from one place to another over and over with 5-minute breaks every 2 hours, I got to my car and took my gloves off of my hands and put them on the passenger seat. I sighed with relief, I couldn't wait to go back home and just make food for Kai and Zuri and play with them, I couldn't wait to hear their laughs again and hear them giggle my name. I wondered if mom was finally gonna show up again that night, I hope not, she would've shown up reeking of alcohol along with the sight of bloodshot eyes from the drugs she was overusing. She makes me so pissed, she's never been there for me or Kai or Zuri, the longest she was with them was when she gave birth to them, I'm so happy that I'm not her kid.

I suddenly awoke from my angered state by the loud honking of a horn. I stepped on the brake as hard as I could, things fell off the back seats and off the dashboard, and I went forward out of my seat a bit. I realized that I had drove into the other car lane a bit and almost hit another car.

"Holy shit," I whispered with a sigh and closed my eyes.

I pulled onto the side of the road for a break. I was tired, my arms and legs were tired, I had so many horrible pains in my body, I didn't know how much longer I could take it... but I had to, for Zuri and Kai. It was getting so hard, every morning I could feel myself slipping away more and more, feeling more disconnected with each passing second... but I was fine...