A Regency Catastrophy

Chapter 18

Oh, this is too funny for words. I can hardly contain my glee. I'm standing in the drawing room, sweaty and covered in mud and dog saliva, surrounded by 'admirors', who hopefully after this encounter, will be 'ex-admirors'.  

"Katherine Montfort, what on earth happened to you?!" Simon looks like he might have an aneurysm.

"Well, uncle, first allow me to introduce you to Captain Marshall and his younger sister, Miss Marshall. Miss Marshall's dog, a big hound who is also called Captain, was having a good time splashing around in a muddy puddle when I encountered him. He had gotten accidentally separated from his owner, you see. And as you can all see, he was rather happy to see me. He jumped up and I ended up in the puddle myself. Captain Marshall was thankfully able to control the beast before he devoured me", I said laughingly. "I did hurt my ankle a bit, so the Captain, the person here, not the dog, insisted on accompanying me home and I believe his sister might need a fortifying cup of tea as well. She was running after Captain, the dog, for quite some time." 

I look around, curious about the reaction of the gentlemen assembled. I am glad to see a few faces look appalled, even disgusted. Some men look indignant, bordering to angry at Captain Marshall, Mr. Fairbridge clearly being one of them. Mr. Wolf, seated on one of the sofas, seems to be having a hard time controlling his amusement, covering his mouth with his hand. Lord Arrogant, who is standing near the front windows looking over the street, is the hardest one to read. He has an intense look, directed at me, that could be anger or something else perhaps. He's making me uncomfortable again so I look to Mrs. Fairbridge who looks wide-eyed as in shock, but whose mouth might betray some amusement as well.

The petite Miss Marshall looks a bit white and trembling. "I'm so sorry Miss Montfort. Captain has never run away like that before. I'm so sorry about your dress and your hair and... and..."

Did I mention there is mud everywhere on me? Yeah. I basically look like the pokémon Muk in a dress. "Don't worry Miss Marshall. No harm was done. It's just a little mud." I pour her a cup of tea. "Take a seat and rest your feet a bit." I turn towards my uncle and the rest of the company. "Now I need to get cleaned up and changed. I understand of course that I cannot keep you all waiting for so long, you probably have other places to be and people to meet up with, so I'll say goodbye for now, gentlemen." I curtsey and leave the room smiling. 

On my way upstairs, I think about the captain. Not the dog of course, the man. The very handsome man. He was all concern when he found me lying in the mud. "Are you hurt, Miss?", he asked me. I can still recall his deep, calm voice. He introduced himself then formally and his sister who joined us shortly and apologized profusely. When I assured him I could stand and walk home, be it with a slight limp, he proposed to carry me, but respected my wishes that I'd rather walk and offered his arm instead. He supported me so well, my ankle, which was only slightly sensitive, did not bother me at all. Only when we reached the couple of stairs in front of our front door, did he suddenly let go. He tied up Captain, the dog, so he would not run off again.

Without a word of warning, he put his one arm behind my back en used his other arm to lift my legs up, carrying me up the stairs, showing no strain whatsoever, as if I weighed no more than a feather. The surprise made me speechless and gazing into his eyes made me feel even more weightless, as if I was floating. When he put me gently down, I swaggered a bit drunkenly until he steadied me. Only then did I notice I had gotten mud all over him as well. I giggled and he looked surprised until he took in his own appearance, after which he smiled as well. It was the first time I saw him smile, and it lighted up his face. It only lasted a second though, and he was back to looking serious when our butler let us in.  In the drawing room he remained silent, but watched me and his sister in quiet concern. 

I mustn't let my feelings run away with me though. I'm still determined not to marry. But doesn't a captain command a ship? A ship that might take me away from England's stifling society and its meddling king? That's certainly something to think about.

Amy gets me some hot water and soap to wash up with and brings me a new gown to wear. I change to my shift and set about calmly washing my hair and face, thinking about Captain Marshall's eyes and Lord Arrogant's strange stare. Amy brings me a couple more basins of hot water before all the mud is gone. When I'm dressed again and Amy has helped me with my hair, I cheerfully go back to the drawing room, assuming of course that all gentlemen will have left and that I'm to be left in peace.

Oh hell no! They stayed!? Well not all of them of course. Some of the gentlemen seem to have left, but there are actually new ones here as well? This is so unfair. They were supposed to leave. I can't help but pout a little while curtseying. 

The atmosphere is strangely quiet and brewing, as if an argument just took place. I look sowewhat uncertain at these gentlemen and wonder if I should say something, when captain Marshall adresses me. "Miss Montfort, I see you are quite recovered. My sister and I will leave you now. Again, my apologies for the incident with Captain. I'll make sure he'll never gets loose again." 

"No apologies are necessary, Captain Marshall. Dogs must be free to play in the mud and jump up to people sometimes. It makes life much more interesting. Are you sure Miss Marshall has rested enough? You may stay a little longer if you wish?"

"You are very kind, Miss Montfort, but it's time for us to leave. I bid you good day." We both curtsey and they leave. What now?

Awkwardness ensues. After a couple of minutes of halting conversations, I realise however I have absolutely no reason to be nervous for these visitors. They are not here to asses me, but only to recommend themselves. And that is a realisation both humbling and liberating. It does not matter what I look like, what my personality is or how I act. I could be a shy little dormouse, a know-it-all bluestocking or an incorrigable flirt, these men would still be interested in marrying me. They are here for the title I will inherit and pass along to my son and the consequence it will bring them. They do nothing but speak about their estate or estates, their influential friends and then romance it up with a poem. 

One of them declares loftily:"Miss Montfort, your beautiful pale skin, it reminds me of that poem 'Hymn to the Moon':
By thy pale beams I solitary rove,
To thee my tender grief confide;
Serenely sweet you gild the silent grove,
My friend, my goddess, and my guide."

"It does? How nice." 

Simon gives me a sharp look. I know my answers are so short they border on incivil, but I can't bring myself to care. At least Lord Arrogant seems to be in a better mood. Everytime I catch his eye, that sardonic smile seems to be playing on his lips. Before I can ask his opinion on the poem, Mr. Fairbridge makes a most dreaded remark.

"I'm afraid we are boring the lady with our feeble attempts at conversation, gentlemen. Perhaps it's our turn to be dazzled and delighted. Did you know Miss Montfort is an excellent piano player? What about a duet, Miss Montfort? I'm certain it will be far more pleasant to listen to than all our talk."

"I'm certain no one is in the mood for music now, Mr. Fairbridge." Sadly, the gentlemen all loudly disagree with that statement, so I take my place behind the piano next to Mr Fairbridge, declaring I will not sing. Lucky for him, Simon does not press the matter and we start playing a beautifull piece. It does not take long for me to lose myself in the music and forget for a moment that we have company. Shortly after the song ends, everybody takes their leave. Some of them ask if I intend to visit the opera this evening, to which Mrs. Fairbridge loudly proclaims I shall. Drat.