A Regency Catastrophy

Chapter 11

What's the difference between a garden party and a public execution? If a public execution served sandwiches and tea, this would be a very difficult question to answer indeed. I'm just wondering when the questioning will be over and the hangman will appear.

Apparently Lord Arrogant invited some of his friends and their parents as well. While the other young ladies are playing croquet on the lawn with some of these friends, enjoying themselves immensely, the mothers of these young men have all taken a special interest in me. They lured me with cakes and have actually entrapped me in the canopy. My cheeks hurt from smiling overly much and I keep sipping my tea while dodging their increasingly prying questions about my parents, my education and my accomplishments. Even worse are the glowing recommendations of their sons.

"My Bertram is an accomplished rider, Miss Montfort. Do you ride?"

"Yes, Mrs Douglas, but not that well."

"Well, when you're in London, my Bertram will go riding with you, so you can practice, if it pleases you."

I just smile and nod. Oh God, save me.

Someone who is certainly not God is clearly enjoying my discomfort. Lord High and Mighty is standing on the lawn, fashionably leaning on his mallet, while watching me with a smug smile. Perhaps if I had taken him up on his offer of courting me, he would have rescued me, but for now, I'm clearly on my own.

"Excuse me, but I would like to stretch my legs and take a stroll through Lady Percy's beautiful gardens, if I may."

"Not on your own, Miss Montfort, surely?"

Heaven forbid! I can't help but answer a bit snarkily: "I can walk around just fine without assistance, Mrs Douglas. I will not go far."

"Ah, but you have a tendency to go wander, Miss Montfort." Mrs Stone's comment is almost enough to make me lose it.

"Andrew! ... Miss Montfort, this is my son, Mr. Lockhart. Andrew, Miss Montfort would like to take a stroll, would you accompany her?" Mrs. Lockhart looks at me like she just did me the greatest of favours. Her son is certainly not a bad looking gentleman, being quite slim and tall, but he seems to have a stick up his butt. He is dressed very immaculately, and his blond hair and sideburns are arranged perfectly, not a hair out of place. He does not look unfriendly, exactly, but more like he's terrible inconvenienced being here. Well, that makes two of us, I guess. I have no choice but to take his arm when he offers it.

We start walking and it's surprisingly easy. Mr. Lockhart doesn't ask any questions nor makes any remarks apart from "How do you do?" and "Nice weather we're having." A short reply suffices for both statements, after which the walk is blissfully silent.

When we finally reach the other side of the field where another marquee had been erected, Mr Lockhart seems just as stiff, but perhaps a little less unwilling to hold my arm. "It was nice walking with you, Miss Montfort. You're not like other young ladies, who like to fill their time with empty-headed chitchat. I look forward to seeing you in London. If you'll excuse me, I was reading a very interesting book about phrenology." And with a bow he was off.

"I'll excuse you all right, you pompous prick." I grumbled, standing next to the marquee, when I suddenly heard a very loud guffaw coming from quite close. Oops, apparently a young man had been sitting close enough to the fabric of the canopy to have heard my comment. He has the most wild look about him, his hair is shaggy and a brownish red colour, or is it reddish brown? His clothing style has a look of careful indifference. In short, he looks like a very handsome rake, the type of man I've repeatedly been warned about at school. How interesting.

Back in 2014, I would have kept my distance of this type of guy. Beautiful and arrogant players exist in all ages of course. It was easy as most of them didn't show any interest in me and the exception that did was readily discouraged by a simple lack of attention. To be honest, they kinda scared me as I wasn't sure what they would want from me and how easily they should get it.

But here and now... Here's a guy who is not interested in marriage, but still has to follow the social rules dictated by society. And as much as I disliked these rules, they also indicated clear boundaries to our interactions, boundaries he wouldn't dare cross here, in public. So perhaps, this is an opportunity, a possibility to flirt a little, for the first time in my life, and get to know what this is like, this game of seduction and desire, that other people my age in my own time seemed to have so much expertise in.

This sudden surge of courage does not mean I know what I'm doing though. During my internal monologue, he just grins at me, while I smile tentatively. How to proceed? Are we even supposed to speak as we weren't introduced? Oh to hell with it... "It seems you overheard something that I would appreciate enormously you would erase from your mind."

"I'm sorry but I will remember such a correct if outspoken opinion forever. Your first impression is now made and set in stone. However, I will not speak to that imbecile about it, if that's your concern." He speaks softly with a mischievous grin.

"No, I don't care how Mr. Lockhart takes it, but I would rather his mother doesn't find out. She seems to be the more dangerous one to cross."

He laughs loudly again: "Correct! This is often the case of overly proud mothers of only sons. So never insult me in front of my mother either," he says with a wink.

This time I crack up. "And pray what could I say to insult you? You're certainly not pompous. What about bold and presumptuous?"

"Mmm, that sounds more like a compliment to my ears."

"Ah, but would your mother agree?" I feel increasingly daring and amused.

"I don't know, what about your uncle? Would he appreciate someone calling you presumptuous?"

His words wash over me like a cold shower. "You know who I am?"

"Miss Montfort, future Viscountess Montfort, everyone knows who you are. You have been the talk of this party." He still has that mocking smile but also looks slightly patronizing to me now.

"Well then, sir, it seems you have me at a disadvantage. You see, nobody bothered to mention your name to me." I answer brattily.

"Ouch, you have wounded me, Madam!" He grabs his waistcoat at the height of his heart, faking a mortal injury. "I thought my reputation would have certainly preceded me. However, your lack of knowledge about my... pursuits might be advantageous. For instance, if I were to ask you to take a stroll with me to those shady trees over there..."

"Are you the wolf, tempting me to stray from the path and pick flowers in the woods? For, sir, I know exactly why your wit and your teeth are so sharp. You wish to devour me?"

"It is in the nature of a wolf to wish to devour all things, especially those willing. Are you willing to be devoured?"

"No one is ever really willing to be devoured, are they?" I truly wonder.

"You'd be surprised..."

"Miss Montfort, what are you doing speaking to this scoundrel?" I whirl around and face Lord Arrogant of course. My sudden movement makes us stand too close for comfort, so I take a step back. "A scoundrel, is he? Well, it takes one to know one, sir."

Mr Wolf starts laughing so hard, I momentarily fear drawing too much attention to us. That is until I see the ferocious look in Lord Percy's eyes. It makes me feel confused and rebellious. I was just speaking with the man, jeez!

"Miss Montfort, may I present my cousin Mr. Burton. It's not clear to me why he's here though, since he generally prefers the company of married women over debutantes," he says haughtily.

"The same could have been said of you, dear cousin. Although, I must admit, Miss Montfort is clearly an exception. I enjoy her company quite a lot." He winks at me.

"Well, sirs, I'll take the pleasure of my company to someone else. I see my friend is being neglected. Good day to you." I beat a hasty retreat from a situation that had gotten uncomfortable really fast. Damn that Lord Percy.