Found her

Chapter 14 | Yellow

TW: Self harm, mentions of panic attacks.

L U C A S

She hasn't texted me in three weeks. She hasn't called me in three weeks. She hasn't sent me a photo of her in three weeks. She hasn't texted me to tell me about her day in three weeks.
That's twenty one days.

I know I shouldn't, but I'm driving to her house. She already came from school. I know that 'Cause her location is still on.

I sound like a stalker.

I reach her house at around four. I see only one car in the driveway. A blue one which I think is Jaxon's. Actually I know it's Jaxon's beacuse I can see a bumber sticker with his name on it. I park next to Jaxon and walk towards the front door and ring the doorbell.

No answer.

I ring twice again and still no answer. Finally I hear a faint 'come in'.

I open the door and walk in slowly. The first think I see is Sadie with her back to me. I smile. The second thing I see is Jaxon, facing me, crying.

My smile drops. My heart is a hammering inside my chest.

Jaxon doesn't spare me a glance, instead, he's focused on Sadie. Or more like the thing in Sadie's hand.

Sadie hears the front door close behind me and turns around.

My heart shatters into a million pieces.

She's holding a knife to her hand. She's pressing it to her wrist, where a few droplets of blood are starting to form. Her bright green eyes have dimmed. They are filled with tears. Her cheeks are stained with tear tracks.

My heart breaks at the sight of her.

'Princess.' I say so quietly, I doubt that Jaxon heard.

She looks at me and I see million of emotions swimming in those pretty eyes of hers. Guilt, sadness, regret, and a hint of anger. Her eyes meet mine.

'Princess.' I repeat, a bit louder. I take a step towards her, and she takes a step back. She shakes her head and presses the knife deeper into her hand. A bit deeper and her wrist will fall off. 'Sadie, it's me. Please. Give me the knife.' I take a small cautious step towards her. This time she doesn't move backwards.
Behind her, I see Jaxon. A hand clamped over his mouth, he's shivering from head to toe, tears pouring out of his eyes. But not once does he make a sound.

I turn back my attention to Sadie. She's still looking at me, as though scared I would disappear.

'I'm here, princess. Please, I won't leave. Just, give me the knife. Please.' I plead. I take another slow step towards her, but she doesn't move. The knife is still pressed firmly to her skin.

'Sadie, I can help you, I promise, I can make all the pain go away. Just give me the goddamn knife.' Im trying so hard to keep my voice from cracking. 'Princess, please, please, the knife. Give me the knife.' I whisper. I take one last step towards her until I'm right in front of her. I slowly take my hand and place it ever so lightly on her cheek. She finches but doesn't move away.

I nod towards the knife. 'Can I?' I ask. I can see her hesitate, but then she releases the knife and drops it to the floor. I kick it towards Jaxon, far away from Sadie. He finally breathes and picks it up.

I look at Sadie, and she finally crumbles, her knees give out and just as she was about to fall, I hold her shoulders to keep her steady. I pick her up into my arms as she sobs into my shoulder and sit on the couch.

My mind goes to our first ever phone call.

'I'm fine now, I'm clean.'

Not anymore.

I hold her even tighter, I look over a Jaxon to see him on the floor, hands in his hair, his shoulders shaking. He's still crying.

I decide to comfort one person at a time.

'I'm sorry.'

I look down at Sadie to see her looking up at me with those mesmerizing eyes of hers. I shake my head, telling her that it's okay.

'I'm so sorry I scared you. I should've just killed myself.' She mutters and hides her face in her hands.

I grab her hands and pull her chin forcefully, but not hard enough to hurt her. Her green eyes meet my blue ones. 'Don't you ever say that again. You hear me? Never.' I say, a hint of anger in my voice.

She nods and places her head against my chest. 'I'm sorry, Jax.' She says.

I look over at him just as he raises his head. He looks a mess, his hair messy, eyes wet, face red from crying. I can't imagine what he just went through. Seeing your best friend, your sister, your twin, try to kill herself in front of your eyes.

'Sadie...' He mutters. 'Don't apologize.'

After a while, Sadie's sobs quietened, her breathing finally evens, and I notice she's fallen asleep. I get up with her in my arms. Jaxon looks up.

'She's sleep.'

He nods, getting up. He walks towards the staircase and gestures me to follow him. No words are shared between us as we go up. He opens one of the doors, and I follow him inside.

Sadie's room is very... Yellow. Her room is two colours, yellow and white. Her bed has a baby yellow comforter with white cushions and throw pillows. The rest of her room is a mixture of yellow and white.
If I haven't just witnessed her trying to hurt herself, I would've said this room matches her bubbly personality.

I place her on the bed and cover her. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. As if she's not bothered by anything in this cruel world. Just as I was about to step away a warm hand grabs my wrist. I turn to Sadie.

'Don't leave.' She whispers.

'Wasn't planning on it.'

***

'You okay, mate?' I ask Jax, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. His head is resting on his knees, and he keeps running his hand through his hair.

'Would you be? If you came from school with your best friend, planning on watching a Disney movie. And while you're in the bathroom, you hear a sob, so you rush out, only to see her pressing a knife to her hand. Would you be okay, Lucas?' He lifts his head, and his grey eyes meet mine, filled to the brim with tears.

I move closer to him. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.'

He shakes his head. 'She's been clean for almost a year, Lucas. And now we have to start all over again.' He sighs. 'At least now, I know I'm not the only one looking out for her.'

I give him a questioning look.

'You'll stay, right Lucas? You won't leave after what you've seen? After you saw how sick and twisted our life is?'

'Jaxon... It's given me a bigger reason to stay.'

***

Hey...

Hope you liked it!