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Trigger warning: slight self harm and angst

I'll always be grateful for all the opportunities I have gotten to do for this team and my country. This sport has given me everything but now it's time......

Rohit's hand shivered as he typed the email. He rubbed his eyes from the back of his hand to wipe the stinging tears.

He never wanted to see yet another world cup slipping out of their grasps but they did and in the most excruciating manner.

All his fault, he reminded himself. If only he had scored some runs and not gotten out so cheaply, they would be gearing up for the finals.

He sniffed as he looked at the  typed words on the screen.

He had managed to comfort the boys after the match. Telling them it's the entire team's fault and that they were clearly lacking behind that the other team out did them but they will bounce stronger and harder.

What's with them performing amazing in the league matches and then loosing the semis in the most horrifying way, he chuckled bitterly.

He could never blame the team, Virat, Hardik they gave everything for the team and yet, if only he had held onto one strike.

This poor form of his was a sign to bow down and step away. This was it.

This was all he had, the end of Rohit Sharma.

He had sternly told everyone to not open their socials and still here he was sitting cooped up in his room, scrolling through tweets.

One specific tweet caught his eyes, what had Rohit Sharma achieved and done for the team in his 15 years of career?

Upon some vigorous thought process he realised, nothing. He had never contributed to his team in match winning needs.

He failed in 2015 semis, he failed in 2019 semis, he failed in 2021 world cup, 2022 Asia cup and now 2022 world cup too.

The sudden realisation knocked all the air out of his system, he suddenly found it hard to breath. He had done nothing to make his team, his country and everyone proud that nobody remembered a single of his achievement including himself.

The glass cup cracked in his hands but the pain seemed so minute in front of the burning ache in his heart.

The sound of the glass falling on the ground snapped him out of his own destruction, he looked at the blood trickling down from his hand and for the first time this didn't scare him.

Rohit sat in his place watching the red liquid falling on the surface like his own career.

He heard a loud bang on his door and he knew who it was.

Virat banged a second time, worry lines on his forehead as he waited for some movement from inside.

"Rohit open the door", he shouted.

Hardik, Rahul bhai and Bhuvi stood next to him.

Rohit sat unable to move in his place as he listened to the muffled voices from the outside.

It was as if his body refused to listen to his mind's commands to open the damn door and let them know he was okay.

The door clicked opened and Virat raced inside with others right behind him.

He looked at Rohit looking as white as a sheet who stared back at him with absolutely no emotions on his face.

His heart stopped looking at the trail of blood flowing from Rohit's hand and the pieces of glass on the floor.

He painfully glanced at Rohit again, it seemed as if he couldn't even feel a single thing happening around him.

"I'll call the staff to clear this mess", Rahul bhai muttered quietly from behind.

Bhuvi and Hardik very carefully approached Rohit and gently shook him.

Rohit looked at them before he blinked a couple of times to clear his hazy vision.

He watched the two piercing at him with worry and he tried giving a small smile.

Bhuvi shook his head in disappointment and ordered Hardik to get the first aid kit.

Virat's eyes fell on the laptop kept behind him. He sighed almost inaudibly, Rohit must be reading things he shouldn't have been.

He picked it up to close it but froze when he read the incomplete email.

"what is this?", he quivered as he pointed at the screen.

"retirement letter, is that what they call it?", Rohit shrugged uncannily.

"Rohit, I'm serious. You can't do this, just because one bad game and you can't take such big decisions so abruptly", Virat's voice increased with every word in desperation.

"so am I and this not a abrupt decision, complete it for me, will you? Since you might have some experience to leave things in between unexpectedly too", Rohit closed his eyes.

Virat gritted his teeth, this was not the time to bring his captaincy fiasco in between.

Bhuvi held his hand to warn him to not say things they will regret later.

He didn't want the 2019 story to repeat again.

Virat took the first aid from Hardik and signalled the two to leave the room and not let anyone come inside.

Bhuvi patted his back in reassurance and asked him to handle it carefully.

Virat knew about Rohit's dream to win the world cup. His desperation for that shiny trophy.

Virat winced as he held Rohit's hand in his. The blood flow had stopped but the red liquid made him nauseous.

"it's going to hurt a bit", he mumbled as he put the antiseptic on the cotton pad.

"nothing hurts more than loosing another semis when we were so close to hold the trophy", Rohit opened his eyes as he sighed with a sad smile, "and you know that too Virat"

Virat pressed his lips in a thin line, knowing fully well to not say a thing otherwise it will lead to the same outcome and he didn't want to releave the dreading memories.

As Virat tied the bandage around his hand Rohit spoke again, "you know I realised that these titles and these record doesn't mean a thing if you can't play for your country in the most important matches"

"are you saying that you have done nothing to contribute to this team?", Virat finally could not stop himself from asking.

"I don't see a contradiction"

"don't get me started on your importance in the team Rohit. I'm your biggest fan, I have done the maximum research and let me tell you your allegations are baseless", Virat grunted.

"it doesn't matter what you and I think, people think that I should step down", he spoke quietly.

"I remember being in the same situation and someone told me that I'm Virat Kohli and that I'm much more than what people anticipate and you see the results, you believed in me when everyone wanted to drop me but today, look at me Rohit.

" I want you to remember you're Rohit Sharma, your name is enough to get the pressure on bowlers, this ain't your day or series but you're so much more than some dumbass commenting about your qualities"

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