My wife 💞

Chapter 20

I think we sat there for a long long time until I started feeling cold.

"Manik" I whispered

"Yes Jaan" he said making me look up moving my face out of his neck

"Im cold" I whispered and he nodded

"Come on ill draw us a bath" he said picking me up

I didn't have the energy to say no so I just laid my head on his chest as he carried me inside the bathroom. He turned the warm water on with one hand, he is a strong man.

Once the bath was ready he stepped in the bath and sat down, as soon the warm water touched my butt I scouted up holding him tighter.

When he sat down completely, the water engulfed us both making me relax in the warm water and in his arms. He chuckled at how quickly I got comfortable in the warm water.

"Are you okay? Is anything sore" he asked softly

"Im okay" I replied

"Does it hurt" he asked caressing my thighs

"A little bit" I said being honest

It stung a bit but it wasn't too bad, I expected this anyways but it wasn't to the point where I was crying becasue of the pain you know

"Nandini" he called

I leaned on his shoulder a little looking to the side to see his face

"I wanna tell you something" he said

i nodded caressing his arm, I had gotten used to holding or caressing his arm a lot, it gave me comfort.

"I don't want you to think that im saying this because of what jsut happened between us becasue that's not why" he said still caressing my thigh

I stopped caressing his arm and grabbed his hand stopping him as well becasue if he tells me this was a mistake I was gonna lose it. I would kill him I mean it.

I was so in love with him that he doesn't even know and if he is about to tell me that this was wrong and it shouldn't have happened than thats it.

I would lose the most precious person in my life, in short I would lose myself and I had jsut found myself so this was gonna be a heartbreaking conversation.

"What's wrong" he asked

I turned around in the bath sitting in front of him crossing my legs.

"If you are about to tell me I am a mistake or that you made a fucking mistake by fucking me then jsut say it quick. Do't rub it in" I said and his whole body stiffened

"What" he asked

"Just tell me what it is" I said

He looked really upset and angry for some reason.

"No, you think I am about to tell you that this was a mistake" he asked

"What did you wanna say then" I asked

"Fucks sake nandini" he mummbled running his hands thorough his hair, I guess trying to calm down

"Manik"

"You think so low of me" he asked in this shaky voice

i knew I had made a mistake just bursting out without thinking about my sentence

"Manik I"

"I love you" he blurt out making my eyes go wide

"I wanted to tell you that I love you, I love when you wake up with messy hair and pouty swollen lips, I love when you sing in the shower, I love when you cover me with blankets before hopping in the shower, I love when you run in circles because you get excited, I love when you annoy the shit out of me, I love when your eyes light up, I love how you take care of me without even asking or saying anything, I love when you get angry at the wet towel on the sofa in our room, I love when you feed me food cause im too busy with a presentation, I love everything about you. I love you as a whole. I wanted to tell you that this, my confession had nothing to do with our love making session, but it has everything to do with you and your personality and your kindness" he spoke

I looked down feeling guilty of what I blurt out at him wihtout thinking but I was scared that I would lose him and lose what we had. Was that an excuse, god no but I knew I was wrong

"Manik"

"You thought I would think this is a mistake"

"No I"

"That exactly what you fucking said nandini"

"Im sorry, I just" I moved my hands to him

"Just what, god dammit" he raised his voice a little making me stop trying to touch him

with Manik you can never put your point across if you yell, he understands things when you are using a lower tone.

"Im sorry that I blurt out something before even analyzing what you were saying. The way you worded that sentence made me think that. It wasn't you or your care, it was jsut the words that made me burst out like that. I thought I would lose you. I didn't mean to hurt you and im sorry that I ruined your mood and raised my voice at you" I said looking down at the bubbled in the water

"I didn't fuck you, I made love to you, it wasn't just sex for me, It was beyond that"

"I agree, the choice of my words and the way I said them was wrong. Im so sorry for being impulsive" I whispered

"Why would you even think that?" He asked lowered his voice to match mine

"My head is a little screwed up from my childhood, I think of the worst possible thing first"

"Okay but I have never given you a reason to doubt my actions or love ever"

"I know"

He didn't say anything further, he just got up from the bath but I grabbed his arm

"Please don't go" I whispered

He sighed sitting back down

"Talk to me" I said

"About what baby, you literally just made me feel like I was using you and that I'm not capable of loving. I thought I wasn't, I did when we got married then every little thing you did got to me. and when I finally had the balls to say it out loud this happened so maybe I am not"

"No don't say that, this has nothing to do with you being capable of loving me or anyone , it was me. It was my fault"

"It's fine" he said

I knew it wasn't and I was not stepping out of this bath until we sorted this out

"It's not so give it to me, and lets talk"

"Talk about what" he asked

"This, I mean do you wanna stay mad at me or do you wanna talk it through with me"

"Well fuck, I don't know nandini" his voice rose

"Okay take your time but im not sleeping without us talking about this"

"You infuriate me" he said

"Ya I do but I love you more so just yell at me but we are gonna talk" I said resting my back on the side of the tub

"Did you just say you love me" he asked

"I did"

"So you love me" he asked

"No shit manik"