scandalous

twelve | kiss it better

I don't want to tell her the truth, for me to tell the truth, we'll need eight hours and a room full of wine.

So I come up with a lie.

"Honestly, it was just a random hookup." I say, looking at her with sincerity but she can tell I'm lying. "It was getting wild and a frame fell above the bed and cut my cheek."

She stares at me for a few seconds and she can see it in my face that I hope she doesn't push the topic.

"Must have been a crazy night." She states, fully aware that I know that she knows it wasn't just a random hookup.

"Really was." I chuckle lightly.

We talk for awhile, trying to avoid any conversation with anyone else but her eyes keep darting to the bandage on my face and I can tell how mad it makes her.

It makes me want to cry.

My head begins to hurt as I look at my mom, she looks like she doesn't want to be here anymore.

She mouths words to me to meet her in the front so we can leave and I listen.

I tell Athena goodbye and she gives me a long hug.

I walk out of the Rey's residence with my mom on my arm.

She drives me back to my house in silence. Comfortable silence. It's always comfortable silence with my mom.

When we get to my house, we say our goodbyes and I head inside my house.

I lock my door behind me and turn on all my lights and head straight to the bedroom. I want all my makeup off. I take my bandage of my face before removing my makeup.

After I do that, I take my dress off and take a shower, washing everything off me.

I scrub my body as if it scrubs the pain away. I scrub to wash off the memories.

It doesn't work. This wasn't the best coping method.

None of the coping methods I've used have been helpful.

They don't erase the pain, they add on to it.

I just want to feel better at least for a second.

I get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body and walk back into my closet to change into my pajamas.

I used to just wear nothing but panties to bed but I was in bed with Aaron and felt warm. Now when I do it, I feel cold.

It's been harder to sleep without him.

I shake the thought of Aaron out of my head.

I put on an oversized shirt and panties before walking back to my restroom.

I drop my towel into my laundry basket before opening my medicine cabinet to get the ointment out.

I put the ointment on my cut and then put it back.

I frown as I stare at my reflection.