𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐄 ━━ 𝘔𝘈𝘛𝘛 𝘚𝘛𝘜𝘙𝘕𝘐𝘖𝘓𝘖

CHAPTER 23

TIME SKIP (JANUARY 6)

mentions of suicide

"Look Matt, I really need someone right now." Annika cries silently into her phone, "Annika, what you need is to be alone. You're traumatized, I get it, but that's nothing we can help you with. You need to professionally see somebody." Matt replies calmly.

"I tried Matt!" Annika yells, "Annika I'm trying to give you the advice that would most help you out. Don't get mad." Matt replies.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Annika whispers, "Annika, I want to help, we all do, but you're not okay mentally right now. I mean you witnessed your best friend kill herself-" Matt begins. "Don't say it out loud." she interrupts.

"Okay sorry. You witnessed something traumatizing, nobody expects you to be okay after seeing something so... terrible. Which is why maybe you should just take a break from trying to be happy. Focus on recovering. I'm down with calling you but you need to be by yourself for right now." Matt speaks, "But I just can't get it out of my head. It's just so... haunting, you know?" Annika continues.

"No Annika, I don't know." Matt sighs, "But you do. So Annika please, just seek some professional help."

"Matt you don't get it. They all tell me the same thing. But none of it is fricking working and I can't do this anymore." Annika's tears begin to quicken as well as her voice.

"Do you really need me to come over?" Matt sighs, "I do." Annika nods her head, "Fine. I'll be over in five." Matt sighs, "Okay." Annika says, wiping the tears from her face.

"Do you maybe wanna hear a joke?" Matt suggests, Annika nods her head, "Go for it."

"Okay um. What did one O, say to the other O?" Matt starts, Annika looks up from her position in Matt's lap, "What?"

"Ohio." Matt answers, offering a small smile, "Most normal greeting in Ohio" Annika lightly chuckles, "Still made you laugh." Matt replies. 

"You don't think I'm crazy right?" Annika questions, "Why would anybody think you're crazy?" Matt questions back, "Because. I tried talking about it to Issey because I- I close my eyes and I just see Myley looking back at me, a tear sliding down her face, saying 'maybe if things were better between us this wouldn't happen' and then even sometimes I'll have the same dream- nightmere over and over the scene just replaying, I wake up, panting and out of breath and then I see it again. The same face with the same tears, same words that just, stick with me. I- and it won't stop. I just want it to go away because it, it fucking hurts. But people think I'm crazy when I tell them." Annika rants.

"You aren't crazy for having an image stuck in your head. You're just hurt, like you said. And you can't let her go so you keep replaying the last memory you have of her, which just happens to be the incident. That's not something people should think you're crazy for. You miss her and you're replaying your last memory, that memory is just bad. But you need to remember the happier memories and you should be fine. Maybe not comepletely fine but it's this one little moment that is going to continue to replay and hurt you the more you remember it." Matt comforts, "Yeah well I don't know how to just, forget everything." Annika replies. 

"Other than drinking." Matt points out, "I would need to drink a lot for that to happen." Annika reasons, "And I'm in no metal stability to go out drinking."

"Okay then well um. Youtube! Or- or Tiktok! Or your Snap memories! Something that you have videos of you and Myley being happy!" Matt suggests. 

"Can you hand me my phone?" Annika requests, Matt takes the phone off of the charger, handing it to the girl.

"This will take, hours." Annika says to Matt, "That's alright." Matt smiles down at the girl laying on his lap.

KIERA SPEAKS: oops sorry. i've been watching smile (i still have like 50 minutes left 😭) so im in that kinda mood but hey its an update