Love Me Worse

There Is No Perfect Love

"Mama those men were sick some of the things they did to me I mean the things they made me do it still haunts me ma sometimes I think I may really need a therapist"I said

"Girl You need a divorce lawyer and Jesus you are fine!! you are fine!"She said

She stood up and look me in my face and said "there is nothing wrong with you you just be making shit up "

"You just dramatic"She added

Than turned around and said "You threw my track of mind off I needed some money to go shopping for somethings"

Why is it always fuck me ?....Im clearly hurting and she never cares never

This is just Who Stacy is

What do I supposed do she is the only mother I have

So you know what I did I went and grab my purse and I counted out about 2000 thousand dollars out

"This is all the cash I have"I said

She grabbed the money and said "This is good thank you baby you always take care of ya mama and mama always gon take care of you"

"Right ma"I said with tears in my eyes

She kissed my forehead before She grabbed her purse and left

It's pathetic how I don't hold her accountable for anything

I sat on the couch

Devante walked in with the kids

"Andrea guess what daddy is taking out us to dinner tonight and he said we can get whatever we want "Makayla said

I attempted to smile but burst out into tears

"What ? Whats wrong Andrea"She asked

"Umm I think Drizz needs a minute you two take your brother in the room and go play"Devante said

The kids went in they room

He sat on the couch next to me and he held me tightly in his arms

And I just cried in his his chest

I Don't even have to tell him whats wrong because he already know

People always wonder why I love him why our bond is so tight

well its this right here

He's sees me he acknowledges my feelings he loves me for me I don't gotta be somebody Im not I can just be Drizz with him

And I like To think thats the best love to experience in this life

Unfortunately we relate through pain and life disappointments

Our main goal is to have a family and give our kids everything we never had finically and emotionally

Broken people from broken homes trying to love Eachothers brokenness you know its beauty in that

Regardless of peoples feelings and opinions towards this marriage

I know this man loves me I know in these arms I am safe in

As he held me in his arms tightly wrapped up and he said "I would do anything in this world just to take all your pain away "

And I cried to him "Just don't let me go"

This man is my heart although times I fail to show it but he is in fact my whole ass heart

After that we became closer he became mynrock and I was more open with how I feel or atleast trying to be