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Ignored

Jumping through the school yard was peaceful, finally a moment where that fog can dissipate. The green lightning surrounding me allows me to feel, feel the breeze, the shock of adrenaline, and the quiet. The quiet always gets me, I don't hear the wind, I don't hear the rustle of trees or even the sound of the bird's chirp. It's all quiet, calm, serine. When I finally land on the roof of the school I sit down and finally breath. 

Crisp air hits my lungs like a cold drink of water, I finally feel okay. Alone, always alone. I end up alone always, this is why I don't like getting close to people. This is why I never open up; I forgot my own rules. Never let them get close enough to see they have an impact. Yet I did just that, let them close, let them share the burden, I did everything I wasn't supposed to do. I put my hands in my pockets and felt something sharp poke my finger, I pull it out slowly seeing a box cutter. 

Oh yeah, I do that now don't I? Keep a blade in my pocket just in case, in case those thoughts get to be too much. In case I become too much for everyone else, become too much for me. You never think you're enough, never think you're too much, smiling too hard its creepy, loving too much its again too much, you never think these things... not until someone points them out to you. When you'd walk the world over and over again for someone, but you know they wouldn't do the same. And over these past few weeks I thought I thought I knew pain, I've broken bones, been burned, had my face smashed into the ground, but this hurts more. Those wounds heal, those scars fade. But what hurts more than all of that is when you tell someone about the pain you've went through in the past, telling them about how you've been hurt by other people. And they do the exact same thing they promise they wouldn't do. That's what hurts the most. 

"Izuku." I turn around slowly; I knew that voice. It was the voice of the woman who has loved me unconditionally all my life. "Hi baby." I started shaking, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. 

"Mama." She ran over to me and hugged me. I forgot what a good hug felt like, weeks without one makes you forget what love feels like. 

"I'm here baby, I'm here." I grab onto her we both know if I didn't, I'd never be seen again. Not in this lifetime. "What happened baby?" 

"Mama, they left me alone again. They lied to me Mama, they said they'd never leave but they left me alone. Mama what did I do wrong?" She pulled away but still held my hands. 

"You didn't do anything baby; they took advice some of us gave them and took it too far. Did you see Aizawa's post?" I nodded my head still shaky. "Did you see the comments?" I shook my head this time, I only saw the picture. It was cute, Sho taking care of me. "We told them that they were too reliant on you, and that they shouldn't expect so much from you and get used to making decisions on their own, and they took it as Ignoring you all together." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why would they take it so far? 

"Mama... I miss them so much." I squeezed her hands softly. "I don't know what to do, I'm so scared of letting them in but... I can't be without them. I thought I messed up Mama, I thought I did something wrong. I kept thinking about what I did wrong... but they just took something too seriously." I couldn't help but chuckle, "that's so like them." She chuckles with me, and I lean back into her embrace once again. "Wait... Mama how'd you even get here?" 

"Oh honey, look behind us." I looked to see my whole class, plus all the Lov, and Kei. They were all crying I'm not surprised though.

"Hey guys." The first to run up to me was Hitoshi and Shoto. 

"I'm so sorry, god we were so fucking stupid, I'm so sorry." Hitoshi pushes his face into my neck, sobbing.

"Izu, please forgive us, we thought we were being annoying to you because we were so needy." They all start piling in one-by-one apologizing for being so stupid. I start crying even more, they were stupid, so fucking stupid but I love them all so much. 

"Okay everyone, someone needs to carry my baby to bed." I felt like falling asleep, but I need to stay awake till my dorm. 

"I got him." I get picked up by a warm body, looking up I see Touya. "Alright let's get going. We need to get this one to bed." 

"I love you baby." I get a kiss on my forehead, and I feel myself moving and voices around me. 

"We got you baby don't worry we'll be back soon." I shut my eyes and feel sleep surround me. 

I wake up some time later surrounded again by warmth, but instead of an empty bed I have all my boys around me, Kei on laying on me and covering all of us in his wings. "Hey Kitten." looking over I see Hito who's on my left side. I smile at him and cuddle into him more. "Ya know we hated doing that whole thing, we just thought you would get annoyed with us. We didn't want to be bothers to you." 

"Toshi, I would tell you guys if you were bothering me. I can't be without any of you at all, the bad thoughts start coming back and you're not here to make them go away. I need you all... I love all of you." 

"We love you too sunshine." Denki cuddles closer to Tenya, wrapping his arm tighter around Denki's waist. 

"I need to sleep haven't in a few days, but we all need to talk about his in the morning." I say cuddling into whoever's behind me.

"Yeah, we do... and we need to talk to you about what happened with Mr. Aizawa." Denki winks at me, I couldn't help but turn red. 

"S-shut up.... nothing happened... mostly." Toshi just smirked.

"Looks like we'll be having another joining us soon." I just chuckle and close my eyes. Well, that would be nice...

more love for me hehe.