into you

6

i look up at clay as i lay cuddled up to his side "now im done having sex" i say to him "your an idiot" he says laughing at me, clay starts smirking at me before i feel him touch around on my body. i try to keep my fear under control, you have to do this, he wants to do you so you have no choice. i close my eyes shut until i feel no hands on me

"george are you okey?" i try to collect my breath while looking at him "why did you stop?" i ask, i failed again. idiot idiot idiot! "because you don't want to george, and we broke up. i know how you feel about intimacy, especially outside a relationship" i kiss clay as a response "i dont want us to have broken up" i tell him before i continue kissing him, trying to deepen the kiss but he quickly stops me

"we're not having sex george" he tells me "but, we are getting back together" my face lights up "if you tell nick, karl and quackity you fucked your ex" clay smirks at me, i groan at him and drag my hands over my face "i did it because you cheated on me clay" i say to him, god why does he have to bring it up. his face crunches up in a hurt expression "i didn't cheat on you" he tells me in a hurt voice "i have only seen proof that you cheated clay, until you can prove the pictures are fake then that is what i know" i tell him as i look into his eyes, he's swallows hard. as if he's trying to hold something in "you really believe what he said to you, you believe i cheated george" he asks me removing himself from me as he gets out of bed, i sit up making sure my chest is cowered by the duvet

"clay i believe the stuff i know, and for what i know you cheated on me. and i forgive you" i tell him as i move over to the end of the bed, clay turns around to look at me "why do you believe him george? he has lied multiple times to get in your pants, you believe your ex over me! your fucking boyfriend" he tells me annoyed and hurt

"clay he showed me proof, until your able to prove you didn't cheat on me then that's what i know. and i forgive you if it is actually true clay" i say looking at the blonde "no you don't george! if it's true we both know you would never forgive me because you aren't the type of person to forgive and forget" clay raise his voice at me as he throws his hands in the air, i tear up as i notice tears threatening to leave his eyes "clay" i tell him in a shaky voice

"it doesn't make sense! you hate relationships and intimacy, but you have so much sex!" he yells slightly "because it was you and luke i had sex with! the two people i would do anything for to make them happy!"

"BUT YET HERE YOU ARE CLAIMING I CHATED ON YOU BECAUSE YOUR EX SAID SO!" it falls silent as we look into each others eyes, he's breathing heavily to stop himself from breaking down

clay close his eyes a swallow while taking a deep breath, when he opens his eyes he takes a few seconds until he speaks up "we're talking about this after the cooking competition" he tells me before getting the close he's going to wear

Time skip several hours later

the tension has been high, very fucking high. but we've been faking it. we've been hiding it by messing around on the stage. such has flirting, throwing stuff at each other and him messing around with me

i feel my hands shake slightly as i walk off the stage, me and clay are talking about what has been happening. he has been watching in the crowd at me. im scared what will happen, especially after luke messaged me while clay had my phone telling me to leave clay and date him instead, and that he loves me, and that he misses me.

"clay" i say, he only holds up his hand to tell me to shut up "no. no george you don't get to say anything right now, maybe not at all during this conversation" he says to me in a hurt voice "we both know you want luke, and we both know it's best if we break up and you get back with him" i gasp and look at him in tears, i start shaking my head rapidly at him "no no. no clay!" i tell him, i don't bother holding in my tears and keeping my voice down "i don't want him, i can't. and if i wanted him i can't put myself through that pain again. please clay" i tell him grabbing his hoodie

clay hold on my hands with one of his "george you don't want me, you want him and you made it very obvious to me and everyone else" he says looking at me with tears in his eyes

"clay please don't do this. i promise i don't want to be with him, what happened won't happen again clay i promise" i plead to him, he can't. i can't loose another person i love more then life, i can't go through that again. i won't survive it if clay leaves me "block him" he tells as he let a few tears fall that he dry quickly "block him george, block him if you don't want him. block him like you should have done so long ago" clay says again "i can't" i say to him, clay looks away from me "i can't, i can't clay. i can't block him but taht doesn't mean i don't love you more then anything" i say to him

"block him or it's over, i never thought nor wanted to be that boyfriend to tell his partner to block someone because you have all rights to have contact with whoever you want" clay turns his head back at me "but i need you to block him, and i hate myself for needing that. because it makes me feel manipulative" i shake my head

it stays silent, clay waiting for me to choose. i take out my phone i write a message to luke

——————————

me
im sorry luke, im about
to do what i should have
done so so long ago. i love
you and i will forever love
you luke. you, me, clay, my
family, your family every
single person who ever knew
about us knows this. you are
and will forever be my first
love, and i love you more
then anything for that. but
we both know this is the best
for the both of us, it's best if
i block your number luke,
and we both know i should
have done this so long ago

but i didn't because i loved
you to much to do it, i still
do, but neither of us are
able to move on and be happy
if your able to contact me

i love so so much luke❤️

and i know you love me to
but we need to do this for
our own good, i will always
love you❤️❤️

so this is my final goodbye
to you luke, thank you for
everything and being in
my life for almost 26 years
and i wish it didn't lead to
this. you will still be able to
contact me on other platforms
and our families will always
have contact, but we won't
because that's the only way
we can move on. i love you
luke, goodbye❤️

luke
i know we should have done
it so so long ago, i love you
george and i will forever
love you. goodbye and good
luck with clay❤️

i can tell he makes you happy

and update me on every single
event our family host together
on how life is going and what's
new okey?❤️

me
i will❤️

goodbye luke❤️❤️

——————————

i click on the contact information taking a deep breath, turning my phone around towards clay

he gives me a confused look "i need you to do it for me clay" i tell him, clay nods slowly at me before taking my phone "there" he says in a low voice, i put my hand over my mouth to hold back any noises "im sorry" clay tells me hugging me, i shake my head at him "it needed to be done, i just never wanted to accept it" i tell him, he pulls away looking into my eyes giving me a soft smile while nodding "i like the 'arrangement' you two made, that you two update each other on everything on family events" he tells me with a smile

"god i hate you" i say laughing hitting him in chest, clay laugh with me "why" he asks me laughing "your being so fucking supportive over something i should have done so long ago. i have been lying about cutting all contact and here you are happy for me i did it" i tell him, clay cups my cheeks as he smiles while looking into my eyes

"because i know how hard that was for you" i smile at him, i hug him tightly as i wrap my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest