The Beaten Path

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

My peaceful reflection period was short-lived. Devin was released from jail and started making phone calls to my parent's house. At first I was reluctant to talk to him but eventually I caved. He smooth-talked his way back in. I wasn't ready to let go of the "dream family" quite yet.  

Devin insisted, "Shelley, I miss you. I don't want you to leave me. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I promise it'll be better." 

"I don't know. I'm so tired of your drinking and you scare me when you get mad."  

"I want to be with you and Chad. Please come home. I miss both of you so much." 

He was slowly chipping away at my resistance. Somehow he had turned the tables and made me feel sorry for him. I thought that maybe with enough love and understanding Devin could still change. He pleaded for me to come back home so we could start over. Confused, I squashed my better judgment. My parents tried to reason with me but I wouldn't listen, within days I moved back in. At first it was smooth sailing and everything seemed to be better.  

Devin was charged with domestic violence assault. The police pressed charges. He was sentenced to probation and ordered to attend domestic violence classes. He was not happy with the results and could only seem to blame me for the trouble he was in. I even began to question myself and wondered if he was right. 

His domestic violence counselor contacted me at home while Devin was at work.  

He said, "Hi Shelley. I'm calling because it's normal procedure to follow up with the victim. I need to assess the situation with you and Devin. Don't worry, our conversations are strictly confidential." 

I was finally happy that someone was paying attention to Devin's behavior and I hoped this might turn him around. I updated the counselor on what I knew about his substance abuse problems.  

The counselor calmly stated, "I have no doubt that Devin uses a variety of substances. If you ever leave him, please contact me immediately. I need to make sure you and your son are safe. Statistics show this is the most likely time a homicide occurs."  

I thought to myself, "Gee thanks for the heads up. Like I'm not scared enough."  

I questioned myself on the best way to continue the relationship without something serious happening to me or Chad. It was very intimidating and I felt I was better able to control the outcome by staying with Devin. It was the only way I could watch his every move.  

To my dismay his sister, Annie, put together a birthday party for their mother. I didn't want to face his family after everything that had happened. But Devin insisted I needed to be there for his mom so I begrudgingly went. Thankfully Chad helped keep the attention away from me. Plus I was able to talk with Sherrie, she already knew my side. I worried about the coolers of beer though and whether Devin would be able to stay sober. Just in case, I kept an eye on him. 

Towards the end of the party, his mother approached me. Devin had taken Chad and was talking with one of his brothers so I was alone. I wished her Happy Birthday.  

"Thank you. So I heard you've been going through a rough patch with Devin?" 

I tried to decipher whether she was feeling me out or if she was genuinely concerned.  

I quietly said, "Yes." 

"I hope you can work it out. Devin loves Chad so much. He would be devastated if he wasn't around." 

"Oh, in other words who gives a damn about me. Guess I know where I stand." 

As the domestic violence classes went on, Devin became worse instead of better. He showed no remorse over what he did and acted like he was the one being wronged. With my input, the counselor tried to work with him on his behavior. But Devin caught on and I was in trouble. He became more impossible to live with and wanted me to pay for betraying his confidence. Instead of helping the situation, his counselor seemed to be making it dramatically worse.