Gone by Ghosts (Natasha Romanoff x OC)

~19~ Time to waste

"Sorry, that was...", she stopped her sentence in search of a word that best described how unprofessional and stupid she felt but couldn't find the right translation to what she had in mind. Since Nat said she knew German she just said it: "...unangebracht"

"Hey, it's okay no need to be sorry. Happens to the best of us.", Nat waved it off and offered Kate her hand who accepted it thankfully. Her unimpressed reaction had allowed Kate to ease up a little. Nat pulled her up and watched as Kate jumped down from her bunk bed onto the carpeted floor of the plane.

"How long till Tehran?", she asked after putting on her shoes with Natasha's eyes still on her. Her voice was a little scratchy from the tension she had been in for the last few hours and she let her thumb carefully stroke the nape of her neck.

"We should be above Spanish ground any minute now." With that in mind, Nat turned to make her way to the cockpit to answer possible radio transmissions from the Spanish waypoint but stopped once more.

"Are you coming?", she asked looking over her shoulder and received a thoughtful look from Kate.

"I think I need a shower first but I'll join you afterwards.", she mumbled and walked away from a worried assassin trying not to show it.

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TRIGGER WARNING: The actions taken in this sence aren't healthy ways to deal with guilt, trauma or neg. emotions of any sort(There is no proper self harm or anything depicted but it's still not healthy)

Kate's POV:

Standing inside the bathroom she could barely move. With the sink and toilet in front of her and the slim glass shower behind her, she started to slowly pull her shirt over her head. Her muscles shook even at this small amount of endeavor. She looked up at the mirror in front of her and found a pale, weakened version of herself. Her hand thoughtlessly brushed over her left cheekbone but the expected pain never appeared. Of course, it didn't she was fine. This was all so long ago. There was a good reason she had forgotten most of it. And whether she liked to admit it or not deep down she knew that that had only been the beginning.

She traced a different scar on her ribs. It was round but a lot darker than her skin color. She hadn't gotten around to covering it up but she usually tried to ignore the constant reminder of what she couldn't remember happening.

Opening her belt, she let her pants fall down onto the floor and got out of her underwear before slowly turning and stepping inside the slim but long shower. Not without shooting a glance over her shoulder in the mirror to see the scars caused by the heat and power of electricity covered with a wickedly glaring crow.

The water ran over her sweat-glazed skin. Warm and comfortable against her goosebumps. Pushing her head under the shower head the water created a numbing wall between her and the real world. The rushing of the water took her far away from the cold metal under her toes thousands of feet above the ground. But before she knew it far away turned into forgotten times and pictures of broken limbs, missing fingernails, and many, many nights alone on the cold, dirty floor of a cell bleeding and aching in pain.

Tears start to flow down her cheeks, mixing with the water drops. Her knees get weak and she leans back on the misty but cool glass and slides down until she was sitting on the floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees and cried some more. And she hated herself for it. She shouldn't be so weak. She should be strong and behave like a grown woman, not like a little child. She did it before, right? She had been strong before. So, why was it so hard to do right now? She needed to get her shit together. She had to stop being such a wimp and start acting like an adult.

She reached over her head and turned the hot water off so that only the cold washed over her. A familiar feeling of duty and strength came from this punishment and she found the might to get up and get dressed.

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Shared POV:

Nat snuck back into the cockpit when she heard the bathroom door being carelessly opened. While Kate stretched her shoulders and jumped around to pump herself up. Kate strolled over to the door of the cockpit and leaned on the wall next to it, sparkling with a put-on mask of confidence. She knocked on the door and heard how Natasha got up and walked towards it.

Nat opened the door with the same empathetic look in her eyes as before that quickly disappeared when she saw the cocky posture of her counterpart. "What's up?", she asked with a light tone of amusement swinging within her words.

"I was thinking you versus me. Until one taps out.", Kate answered in an intentionally arrogant, flashy tone.

"You really wanna do that? I'm a lot to handle, you know?", Nat teased back, intrigued to see how Kate would manage in a fight with a marshal artist of her caliber.

"I'm down if you are.", Kate replied without missing a beat or the chance to flash a smug but charming smile at the agent in front of her.

"Let's do this."

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Thanks for reading this chapter

It's really taking me a long time to set it up right but I want the story to feel like the long beginning paid off

So, sorry if I'm dragging it out too much for you

~1513~