Because the title is probably to long: The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch
Y/n, Shalnark, and Killua become online friends, and all of them are sleep deprived idiots with more mental issues than you can count.
Or
A story where Y/n...
"'Cause baby tonight, you grab your pick, shovel and bolt again."
"And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn'."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again."
"Just when you think you're safe, overhear some hissing from right behind."
"Right, right behind."
"That's a nice life you have, shame it's gotta end at this time, time, time."
"Time, time, time, time."
"Blows up, then your health bar drops, you could use a 1-up, get inside don't be tardy."
"So now you're stuck in there, half a heart is left but don't die, die, die."
"Die, die, die, die."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all your stuff again."
"'Cause baby tonight, you grab your pick, shovel and bolt again."
"And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn'."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all your stuff again."
"Creepers, you're mine."
"Dig up diamonds, and craft those diamonds and make some armor."
"Get it baby, go and forge that like you so, MLG pro."
"The sword's made of diamonds, so come at me bro."
"Training in your room under the torch light."
"Hone that form to get you ready for the big fight."
"Every single day and the whole night, Creeper's out prowlin' - alright."
"Look at me, look at you."
"Take my revenge that's what I'm gonna do."
"I'm a warrior baby, what else is new."
"And my blade's gonna tear through you."
"Bring it."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again."
"Yeah baby tonight, grab your sword, armor and gold, take your revenge."
"So fight, fight like it's the last, last night of your life, life, show them your bite."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again."
"'Cause baby tonight, you grab your pick, shovel and bolt again."
"And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn'."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creepers tried to steal all our stuff again."
"...Well now I want to play Minecraft." I said.
"Oh yeah, because that always works out well." Shalnark scoffed. I'll have you know that Jinx has never died once... Jinx has never died twice in any of our Minecraft worlds. Fucking Killua. You can't give a cat a chocolate chip cookie. It's murder, not 'increasing its poison immunity'.
"The chaos makes it even better." Killua stated.
"Exactly! Now, who's creating the world?" I asked.
______
"Y/n your cat is cute." Killua complimented. You think every cat is cute. And Jinx prefers not to be called cute. He is a god of chaos. He causes despair wherever he goes. ...I swear I'm not emo guys. Source: Trust me bro.
"And wanted for tax fraud." I informed.
"How does a Minecraft cat even become wanted for tax fraud?" Shalnark asked.
"By committing tax fraud." I explained.
"Yeah I walked straight into that one."
"You can't walk straight. Your married to a male. Do you need-"
"Killua, if you ask if I need marriage counseling one more time I will ground you for life."
"Okay, I won't ask if you need marriage counseling again."
"Thank you."
"You need marriage counseling."
"I'm going to kill myself."
"And leave your husband all alone, to fend for himself? I think you need-" I said.
"Finish that fucking sentence. I dare you." Shalnark threatened. I'm not scared of you. Im not scared of anything. ...I take that back, I'm scared of being grounded from coffee and energy drinks.
"Marriage counseling." I finished.
"I will tear your family members apart piece by fucking piece and you to watch."
"Cool. Are you gonna get me popcorn or should I bring some?" I asked.
"Aww. Thanks. This will be the best movie-night ever. ...Technically not a movie though."
"I hate both of you."
Shalnark has left the call
About thirty minutes later
Shalnark has joined the call
"I'm just saying, if god didn't want us to snort worms he wouldn't have made them cylindrical." I stated.
"Exactly!"
"I'm not even confused at this point. Both of you are the reason shampoo has instructions."
"To be fair, we are seven." Killua said.
"Yeah, yeah. Fucking five year olds.
Y/n has sent a photo
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"Did you just have that saved?" Shalnark asked.
"Yes. My only skill is finding memes in my phone before we switch topics in a conversation." I replied.
"I- ...how do I acquire such skill?"
"Practice. ...Or drugs. Both work."
"How does drugs- I'm not going to question it."
"So, Shalnark... what's your opinion on marriage counseling?"
"I swear to fucking god."
Word count: 1284
Fun Facts:
• Woooo Jinx! ...Also have any of you not read my other book? Cuz if you haven't pls tell me if this book doesn't make sense because of all the references 😭😭😭
• Me: *Puts #Drugs cuz I'm bored* *It becomes the most impressive ranking* Me: wtf?
• Do I like this chapter? No. Am I going to rewrite it? Also no. Why? Because I'm a lazy fuck.
