The haunting Love: That is Unrequited

Enter Callie and Josh

Tutoring was happening every spare chance he had. Sometimes 8am, In the afternoons until 4:30pm, Some afternoons it was only until 3:30pm. On those days he would need to leave early to go off to for training. Wednesday's I would see him in the afternoons for choir practice. Wednesdays were a day I didn't have math's so the only time I would see him was at choir. When he would walk in, he would smile at me, come over and say hi as he squeezed past the tightly packed chair to the piano. We were becoming closer due to the tutoring. 

Eventually I started sitting with Callie; Callie was in the music program; she was a vocalist. During math's class we became good friends- she also had a crush on Zhang, she would always chat with him before class, after class, during. Any spare chance she had she would. While she was a lovely person, she was bold with her flirty chat, and it would piss me off. I had no reason to be pissed off, she was just like me, only confident; she had also many more interactions with Zhang previous to being in his class. Why was a I jealous of someone who also had no chance of being anything more. Student- teacher relationships are ethically wrong; it is common knowledge! Yet the way she interacted with him, to have his attention was disturbing at times. Admittedly, I was thankful to have become close with her and sit with her. 

Another perk with sitting with her was she was friends with Josh (they were the music captains): Josh was the son of the Math's HOD (head of department) Josh was also in the music program he was a percussionist- he played drums in our jazz band and eventually joined choir for senior year, he was already friends with Zhang (from my observations he joined the choir because of Zhang). This small random group created the opportunity for me to become comfortable in class, I was much more relaxed, finally being able to talk with people I know- I was able to get other opinions of the questions in class, hear how others would understand what we were learning. Finally, after weeks of sitting alone and having crippling anxiety to ask questions, I was in the in-group. I was capable of having chats with him during class about topics other than math. Getting to know him from these conversations made this already open and welcoming man, even more relatable and human. This setting of relatability made my feelings run a little deeper, finally, I considered him a friend. Of course, I was still nervous because of his handsome face but I was growing accustomed to seeing it almost every day. I was growing comfortable with my feelings settling into the warmth I felt as I looked at him, letting these feeling become natural.