The states of grief
are a strange thing
when you cannot properly feel
all of the things it entails
I grew up
watching you sit in your truck
Not coming in
to even say hi
You were a stranger,
that I called papa
I remember the weekend
we stayed with you
You said we could
pick out a toy we wanted
So I grabbed
the first Transformer I ever owned
You bought me the first to a collection
that continued to grow
Even so, you were still
the man I never really knew
And yet, you started a passion
for me that I still adore to this day
I saw you several months for the last time
before the world took you away
you told me to never hold on
to any anger toward the ones I love,
For life is too short
I knew you regretted
not getting to know us better
And I really do wish I could have known you
You left the day before my 23rd birthday
How can you grieve for a man
that pretended you didn't exist
for nearly 23 years
For you were the stranger that we called Papa
2022
YOU ARE READING
the void in my headspace | poetry by Sydney Calhoon
PoetryA collection of poems from the depths of my soul, bearing to you the darkest, most vulnerable parts of myself. Handle with care.
