Headaches & Hazbins: Book 1: New Kind of Life, New Kind of Hell

Chapter 15: By a Campfire on the Overlook

Asher: Not the biggest fan of this place...

Jerry: Yea... This place always gives me the chills... Sometimes literally. I always feel like there's someone out here watching me.

Asher: Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if there was.

Jerry: Well... Keep your eyes open for anything...

Asher: I hope you'll be able to keep your eyes open for most of tomorrow.

Jerry: Yea... Let's hope so.

[The two demons sit there silently for a few seconds before it finally registers in Jerry's head what Asher just said. He lowers his binoculars and looks at Asher a bit confused.]

Jerry: Wait, what do you mean?

Asher: Tomorrow. It's the middle of the week.

Jerry: Ok... And?

[Asher stares at Jerry with a blank expression, like he should know what he's talking about. He clearly doesn't.]

Asher: Ye– You seriously don't know?

Jerry: Uhhh... No... Is tomorrow some sort of human holiday I'm unaware of?

Asher: I– Ok... Think for a second, what is something I do on occasion?

Jerry: Smoke and drink?

[Asher crosses his arms.]

Asher: No, I said on occasion not constantly.

Jerry: Stupidly burn yourself?

Asher: Also no, and that was one time.

Jerry: Masturbate?

Asher: Ew and no.

Jerry: Can ya give me another hint?

Asher: Alright. What's something I do weekly?

[Jerry begins to think a bit more. He scratches his head.]

Jerry: As in something you do every week?

Asher: That's what weekly means, yes.

[Jerry scratches the back of his head trying to think about whatever Asher is talking about.]

Jerry: Uhhhh...

Asher: I'll give you a hint. I do it every Wednesday.

Jerry: Wednesday... Wednesday... What hell are you talking abou–

[Jerry stops speaking mid-sentence as a look of realization appears on his face. The expression quickly changes to an annoyed one.]

Jerry: You're joking right?

[Asher smirks.]

Asher: Nope.

Jerry: You seriously can't be doing this now... Of all fucking places to be doing your shitty habit, this isn't fucking one of them!

Asher: Hey now, you've known about this since the first week we met. It's just something that happens that I have no control over.

Jerry: Bullshit! There's no way in hell that's something a person has no control over!

Asher: Listen, I've tried kicking the damn thing and I've tried to control it. But everything I've tried hasn't worked or shown any signs of progress.

Jerry: Alright fine you made an attempt, but– Now?!

Asher: Like it or not Jerry, I'm sleeping until noon tomorrow. And neither of us can do shit about it.

[Jerry rubs his forehead annoyed and lets out a sigh.]