Headaches & Hazbins: Book 1: New Kind of Life, New Kind of Hell

Chapter 14: Roadtrip!!!: Part 3

A Few Minutes After The Last Chapter...

[Asher is wandering around alone in the dead forest close to his and Jerry's campsite. At least he thinks he is. Chances are he's already lost. He walks calmly minding his own business while he smokes a cigarette. He takes one of his hands out of his pocket and grabs his cigarette allowing him to blow out some smoke. He glances at his surroundings before placing the cigarette back into his mouth.]

Asher: (In Head) Ya know... When no one is trying to kill or horribly maim you, Hell's quite peaceful.

[A flapping noise can be heard behind Asher. His expression changes to an annoyed one.]

Asher: (In Head) Unless... You're being followed...

[Asher stops walking and looks over his shoulder. He can see the Crescent Crow perched on a dead tree branch somewhat behind him. Asher looks at the Crow annoyed while the crow shares a similar irritated expression towards him.]

Asher: (In Head) So now... Because of this feathered asshole... I need to keep one eye open while I sleep in case this thing tries to rip the other one out of my skull! *Annoyed Groan*

[Asher turns back around and continues walking in the same direction as before.]

Asher: (In Head) Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away...

[He walks forward minding his own business trying to ignore the crow pretending it's not there. The Crescent Crow watches him walk off deeper into the dead forest. It glares at him before taking flight. Asher blows some smoke out of his mouth as he peacefully walks. He then makes his way to a few clustered trees blocking his path. He steps over a large root growing out of the ground and under a low-hanging branch slipping past the small cluster. He takes a few steps away from the clustered trees and looks around, seemingly looking for the crow. He can't seem to find it.]

Asher: (In Head) Huh... Did that actually work?

Crescent Crow: *Caw*

Asher: (In Head) No, of course it didn't...

[Asher looks over his shoulder and spots the Crescent Crow perched on another dead tree. He looks to be irritated by it.]

Asher: You are aware that I have a gun, right?

[The Crow glares at him. Not responding.]

Asher: Now you might be thinking that just because you're a small animal who can fly rather fast you'd be hard to hit. Right? Now, while you might be correct if you were up against any other idiot with a gun. I am not that kind of idiot.

[Asher grabs his pistol from behind his belt and aims it upwards. Finger off the trigger.]

Asher: I have had my fair share of trouble before and am quite the adept shot. Now, while I might not be able to hit someone right on the noggin a mile away. I can assure you that I can hit a small moving target a few dozen feet in front of me-

Crescent Crow: *Caw* (Translation: Yoink.)

[Asher stands there completely still and silent. He blinks a few times before looking at his right hand where he's holding his pistol. Correction. Was. Where he was holding his pistol. He looks at his empty hand completely stunned for a few seconds before looking up. The Crow is flying high above Asher holding his pistol with its talons. It then starts flying away carrying the gun with it. Asher watches it fly off while still stunned for a few seconds before snapping back to reality.]

Asher: Wait- Was- Did it- HEY!!!

[Asher immediately starts running full speed after the Crow.]

Asher: (Yelling) GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!!! HA! BAST-BIRD!!! *Maniacal Laughter* HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!