Birds of a Feather II

Karen

Karen twirled a cigarette between her fingers before sucking in a drag and slowly releasing the smoke in a long breath.

Something needled at her.

She'd only had one beer last night and nothing the day before, during their move, or this morning. Despite the celebratory mood and camaraderie of last night, the moment she'd taken her first swig, a brief memory had flickered. Blurry, and somehow...bright? But nowhere near clear. Through most of the night she'd stayed awake, trying to recall the memory fully. She'd even set aside her beer until she did so. But nothing had surfaced.

It was when they'd been in Lakay, she was sure of that at least. Maybe it was all a phantom memory anyway and there wasn't anything to recollect. It could be a distraction her mind sought after what she'd witnessed at Willard's Rest.

Karen took another drag of her cigarette and wished for a drink instead. For the first time in a long time, she'd been feeling good at a decision she'd made. She'd left with Strauss, thinking it was the right choice. And when the attack on the house happened, she'd defended Willard's Rest on her own until back-up arrived.

Then that flaming bottle had come whistling through the window unexpectedly. She'd been the closest to it when it burst, glass exploding and the flames reaching far enough to burn her arm. Strauss and Mary-Beth had been dazed just the same, but somehow Strauss had regained his senses first.

It was at that point he could have run. He could have left them in that room and saved himself. Strauss' decision to help them confused her. Everyone knew he was a heartless bastard. But, he'd intentionally stayed behind and pushed her and Mary-Beth to safety. When the second fire bottle exploded inside the house near the front door, Karen was too late to return the favor. She'd shoved the panic-stricken Mary-Beth out the back door, but Strauss was no longer behind her and the house was fully up in flames.

They'd stared, dumbstruck, until Lenny appeared. He had taken hold of Mary-Beth as she started blubbering, "Mr. Strauss. He's in there. You have to save him."

Lenny had looked to her and Karen had shaken her head with regret. Strauss had been trapped, dead instantly or not she'd never know, but there was no going back.

How could a bastard like that have had so much altruism in him? If she hadn't witnessed it with her own eyes, she wouldn't have ever believed it.

A small part of her was of the guilty opinion that she had a hand in his self-sacrifice. Only that afternoon she'd accused him of not giving a damn about anyone in the gang. 'Course, it was Arthur who had told him bluntly what they all thought of him so maybe she wasn't all to blame.

Even still, Strauss' sacrifice was making her rethink her own actions of late. Had she ever been that selfless? Could she be?

Hell, she needed a whiskey. Or something stronger from Pearson's stash.

Karen left the woods and returned to camp, entering on one side of Arthur's tent where he was talking with Trelawny and John. She passed them and Grimshaw was bearing down on her and on the attack in an instant.

"I knew it wouldn't be long 'til you'd want to quench that thirst of yours."

The accusation would have stung if she wasn't intending to do just that. Karen ignored her and continued walking.

"I'm talking to you, girl."

"I heard you." Karen rolled her eyes as she stopped near Pearson's wagon.

Grimshaw snapped, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Around." Smoking wasn't going to cut it. She didn't want to be senseless the rest of the day, but what else was there?