Ilena

You Got the Ick

I'm sure other women of my generation will cheer in agreement with this opinion, but online dating is one of the worst creations of this day and age. Sure there are those few and far in between success stories where a shiny, happy and totally in love couple comes out of the wood works. Singing their praise and appreciation to the Tinder Gods for helping them find their person. However, at the moment I'm mentally flicking those "Gods" off for presenting the man sitting across from me at this cafe.

Initially I thought that the notion of our first meeting being at a cute cafe not too far from campus was a good sign. Its interior was warm and cozy, the furniture all made from a deep oak wood, and the shop filled with more plants than I could count. The choice alone was enough to help him check off the first requirement on my list: the man has to know how to plan a good date.

However, the statement that just left his lips has my hand twitching to send the agreed pineapple emoji to Ebony signaling for her to SOS call me with some made up emergency. I left the emergency up to her, seeing as she's a theater major I figured she'd be up for the challenge and love the creative freedom.

"I would have been stupid to not swipe on you. One look at you in a tube top had me in love. Your body goes crazy girl," he smirks as if he just spit the smoothest line ever.

Sure, he initially caught my attention due to his looks. His carmel skin was unblemished, his jaw line was sharp, his brows were thick and well kept, his curls were taken care of and gave a cute boyish charm to contrast his more striking features. The fact that he had a cute smile also played a large role in me swiping. But the main thing that caught my attention was his top ten artist, artist like Smino and Brent Faiyaz being included. Not only that but his Instagram account also led me to believe that he was a sweet guy, several pictures of him and his family gracing his account.

Pulling a tight smile I release the best non-disgusted laugh I could muster, finding solace in my quickly emptying drink. We've been here for about thirty minutes and this is the second time he's somehow directed the conversation back to my body. Shuffling on his end pulls my attention away from the frazzled barista behind the counter back to the man who personality catfished me.

"I need to run to the bathroom for a second. Be right back," he smiles, tossing me a wink that I have to beat back the desire to grimace at.

The second he's out of eyeshot, I pull my phone out, the group chat with Ebony and our other friend Asma in.

Me: "Guys..."

Asma: "You got the ick didn't you,"

Eb: "You need my SOS call? I've come up with a pretty convincing story."

I snort at the list of possibilities that Ebony sends, sparing a quick glance relieved that he still hasn't returned from the bathroom.

Me: "He's in the bathroom right now."

Eb: "Girl get up and leave"

Asma emphasizes the message

As bad as it may seem, their message was the only confirmation that I needed for the idea that had already popped into my mind. Pocketing my phone I quickly grab my bag before heading towards the door. Everything was surprisingly smooth sailing, until my name cut through the quiet cafe. Cringing, I turn to face my now confused date, his expression slowly morphing into one of anger.

"What the fuck? You were just gonna bail?"

"My friend called, they're really struggling with a class assignment, " I lie.

One thing my friends always tell me is that I'm a terrible liar. Which must be why he scoffed, sneering at my in response.

"So a guy takes you out, pays for everything, and you just ditch him when he's in the bathroom,"