Before The Bell Rings - Spencer White

episode XI

"So, uh, we're going to be playing a game called Stuck in the Mud. You might be familiar with it. If you get tagged, you're stuck and you can't move again until someone else crawls between your legs and sets you free."

No one seemed excited to play this game. With everything going on, we all thought it was a bit of waste of time.

"Okay, Justine you're 'it'. If Justine manages to get you all stuck in the next five minutes, I think I'll give her... I don't know, 20 bucks?"

I smiled. I wanted those 20 bucks. My mother never gave me money not even for ice cream when I was a kid so I was eager to win this game.

"Okay, laps. Let's go." She said starting the game.

We all started running around the gym. I hadn't stuck many people, two girls and one guy, I didn't know their names. I was so bad at this, I never really had cardio.

"Now, everyone with a checkered shirt are now automatically stuck for the rest of the game." My mother shouted, adding a new rule to the game. Making my role way easier and I liked that. I could win the money.

"What the hell you can't just change the rules?" Spider yelled at her.

"Actually, yeah I can. Now everyone wearing blue is also stuck." She paused. "And everyone wearing a watch."

We all continued to run. As childish as it sounds, it was actually fun. I was wrong before, this was just what I needed. Everyone's mood was already lighter.

"Spider!" Some girls shouted.

"That means you're stuck, Spencer." My mother added.

"That's not fair." He said as he continued to run and I tried to stuck him.

"Well, fairness is irrelevant. You're stuck in the mud or you're in double detention."

"Fuck." He scoffed.

I finally touched the last person and my mother gave me the 20 bucks as promised. I was out of breath so I sat down on the cold gym floor to cool down.

"You can't make us play a game and change the rules every 10 seconds." Missy exclaimed.

"You all agreed to play a game even if it wasn't fair that someone, in this case me, was changing the rules. So why did you do it?"

"Yeah, because you told us that we'd all get detention and you promised JJ 20 bucks. It was rigged." Spider rather annoyed said and others agreed with him.

"So this brings us to the point of the today's exercise. I want you to think about this unfair power balance. Especially in life. For exemple, a boyfriend that decides-"

"Oh yeah, here comes the man bashing. You want to know what is unfair? The fact that this school is out to get everyone with a pair of nuts." Spider shouted, frustrated again. Poor cis white man, he must have a terrible life I thought.

"That is completely untrue."

"So Ant and I get detention for getting publicly shamed by JJ but she just have to join this stupid class to increase her fucking grades. You wonder why it doesn't rock up."

"Hey, look around, Spencer." My mother replied. "No one's feeling sorry for you or Anthony. Because you aren't the victims here and I really don't think you're convincing anyone that you are."

I tried to contain my smile, but I was happy to have my mother right now, defending me and all women. Spider had a lot to say about being a victim when he was in fact the perpetrator. Him and his toxic masculinity that no women in this school could stand.

"Fucking feminazis, man."

We all gasped. I couldn't believe it.

"Sorry, what did you just say?" I shouted, quickly getting up my arse and walking towards him.

"I said this is bullshit. I didn't even fucking started that rumor." He replied, shouting his anger at me too.

We yelled at each other for quite some time.

"Cry me a fucking river Spider. Your reputation wasn't tarnished. You weren't labeled as a slut did you yeah?"

"We're all sluts here."

"Shut the fuck up for once. Do you even think before running your mouth? Do you know how fucked up are the things you constantly say? And you don't call any women, especially my mother a fucking feminazi!"

I just realized what I had said. He grinned, his mouth open. His tongue twirling on his teeth. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I looked around and everyone smiled, surprised to find out their teacher was in fact my mother.

"You two out of my class now!" My mother said pointing us out the door. We both exited at the same time. Spider giving the rest of them the middle finger. I started walking fast in the halls. I needed to get out of the school, I could feel my cheeks getting hotter by the second. I was literally boiling of anger inside. The halls were empty since everyone had already left. And thank god it was after four because I was about to punch the first thing that got in my way. Spider caught up with me.

"Oi! Does mummy always rescue you from big bad bad man." He said pouting his lips.

"Piss off dickhead."

He kept on talking shit. I stopped walking, turned around and started slapping, punching him the hardest I could. I knew this would happened, my frustration got the best of me. I let it all out, everything that I had bottled up. I just didn't have the strength to use words anymore.

"What the fuck?" He shouted restraining my wrists so I couldn't hurt him anymore.

"I'm so tired of your whole asshole act." I paused. "Seriously Spence."

His traits soften and so did mine. I scoffed and turned around to start walking away but an urge stopped me.

"You know." I sighed. "I would do anything to bring back the Spencer of this summer. I hate the foolishness in me thinking he's coming back. Because that Spencer, I liked him."

My voice broke and a few tears were forming in my eyes. Before I would see me at my most vulnerable, I turned my back on him and walked away. But I knew he had genuinely listened to every word I had just said. He didn't talk back. He didn't frowned. He didn't cockily crossed his arms. He just stood there, analyzing my every moves until he couldn't see me anymore.