Thin Ice (M/M Transmigration)

Chapter 11

Cale dragged in a harsh breath. He stared at Julius' furious face, his frowning mouth and his furrowed eyebrows and his glinting eyes. The blond hair that hung loosely and framed his face, the sharp jaw and the sharper tongue. Cale felt something squeeze in his chest so tightly that he wondered if he was still breathing. Because, because—because Julius looked like he was ready to confess his love all over again. Hell, hadn't he practically just done that?

"We have plenty of time," Cale agreed. He held out his hand toward Julius and waited patiently. After a glance at his face, Julius took Cale's hand and held it tightly. A tingle spread in Cale's arm, up toward his elbow and to his shoulder. He licked his suddenly dry lips (he did that a lot, didn't he? Calla's lips were very dry, much more so than Cale's.), and squeezed Julius' hand in return. When he saw the slight widening to Julius' eyes and the way that they instantly softened, Cale's heart thundered in his chest.

Julius smiled softly at him. Cale had to force himself to look away from him, otherwise he feared he'd combust. Who knew, that might be possible in this world?

Magdalena finished her pastry and swallowed it before she said anything, making Cale sweat as he worried that she... well, he didn't know what. He was aware that they were moving incredibly fast. He was painfully aware of it. He worried and he agonized and he tried to justify it, but he couldn't.

Maybe it really was as Cale feared: maybe Julius was just using him to help Sayer get the Frosthaze lordship. Maybe Cale was simply latching on emotionally to him because he was lost and needed an anchor. Maybe these feelings weren't real—no, they were. But maybe they wouldn't last. Maybe this relationship was doomed; maybe, one day, he'd simply fall out of love with Julius.

But those were all maybes. They were possibilities, they were nightmares, they were fears. Right now, Cale felt like he lost his breath every time he looked at Julius. His heart beat so loudly that he could hear it. His hands were clammy yet he didn't want to let go of Julius' hand. If he'd had the ability to blush, he would have done so a thousand times over by now. Right now, Cale was in love with Julius. Right now, what he wanted was to be with him.

It was foolish. It was setting himself up for pain and heartbreak and who knew how many more nightmares. It was a disaster in his own making and he didn't care. He deserved to make this mistake. Here he was, stuck in another world and body and with every passing day, it became increasingly clear to him that he was never going home.

Being with Julius made him happy. And damn it at all to Hell, but he wanted it.

He interlaced his fingers with Julius' and said to Magdalena, "I know this could be a mistake. But it's a mistake I want to make."

Magdalena stared him straight in the eyes. Frowning, she searched his face for something. And even though he had no idea why, he found himself hoping that she would approve. That she would let him do this without any snide remarks, without a condescending attitude, without an "I told you so," just waiting to leave her lips. He didn't know why he cared for her opinion so much, he didn't think that they were close enough that her disapproval would change anything. But, still. Still.

Then she broke eye-contact with him and turned her gaze to the mellow pink wall behind him. "I'm not going to interfere," she said and straightened up in her seat. She looked over them both with cutting brown eyes and continued, "I only ask that you take your time. People can love each other, and still not be able to stand being in each others' presence. I don't want that to happen to you." She smiled ruefully at them.

Cale gulped. Nodding, he said, "Of course."

With that, it seemed the matter was dropped. Magdalena moved on to other topics, like the latest letters she had gotten from her little sister and her fiancé. She spoke passionately and at length how much she hated her history professor and how she couldn't wait for the Winter Holidays. Julius interjected with cutting remarks every now and then about this and that, and some of them even managed to make Magdalena smile.