Paparazzi//Grayson Hawthorne

Chapter Twenty-Four

I wake up in bed. It's not my bed. I mean, why would it be? I haven't slept in my wing at all apart from my first night here.

I quickly look around, slightly panicked, as I try to recognize my surroundings.

"Ash," I hear someone say. I quickly look and see Grayson standing at the doorway.

I feel myself let out a breath as I can finally at least recognize someone.

"You're in the medical wing, I don't know the full story, but Xander said you fainted in the kitchen," Grayson's voice is soft as he walks closer.

I just stare up at him, not saying a word.

"Is it okay if I sit?" He quickly asks, gesturing toward the seat.

I nod.

He sits down, a worried look on his face.

"Do you know why I fainted?" I surprise both myself and him as the words leave my mouth."

The doctor said you weren't getting enough air in your lungs, so basically just lack of oxygen," Grayson speaks softly.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling okay, I mean?" Grayson asks, his voice sincere.

"Better," I say quickly but quietly.

"Do you know what caused you to faint?" Grayson asks carefully, hesitating before asking.

"Lack of oxygen?" I reply, he just told me why.

"No, do you know why you weren't getting enough oxygen?" Grayson asks again.

Oh.

"I guess I had a panic attack. It was a bit worse than my others, though," I sigh as the words leave my mouth.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. Nash called me, and he told me to come back as quickly as I could because of Drake, but he didn't tell me about you. I should have been there, but I promise I will be," Grayson quickly stammers out.

"You promise?" I ask the boy, "I promise," he breathes out.

He sat next to me on the bed for what felt like forever, sometimes talking while the rest of the time was spent in silence.

"I'm proud of you, Ash" Grayson's voice is quiet, barely over a whisper, as he looks over to me.

"For what?" I ask him, furrowing my eyebrows.

"For being here."

Those words. Those three words. He's proud of me for being here.

"I know you and Avery didn't manipulate the old man or something. He chose the two of you. We may not know why but he made the right choice," Grayson whispers as he shifts slightly in his seat.

When Grayson leaves the room, I'm in the door opens quickly after.

"Are you okay? Gray said you're okay, but it all happened really fast, and I wanted to come in earlier, but I was told to wait since Gray was in here," Xander quickly rambles as he walks in.

"It's okay, Xan, I'm okay" a small, content smile sits on my lips as he walks closer.

Xander doesn't sit on the chair near my bed. Instead, he motions for me to move over slightly before he sits on the bed with me.

"How are you feeling?" Xander asks as he nudges my side slightly, "Not physically, because I know you're doing fine, but mentally" He finishes.

I pause for a moment, not quite knowing what to say.

I take a breath in before looking at Xander.

"It's all been a lot, you know? I mean, last week I was working two jobs and was a dance coach, but now I've inherited a whole bunch of money and am world-famous, my face is everywhere, and people recognize me, Drake's face is everywhere even, but no one knows what he did. Not even Libby and Avery know Xander. They never knew what he would do because I was so scared he would hit them too. And I thought that he would be gone, that he hit Libby and now we're here, and he would be gone for good, but when we came home, he was here, he was waiting, and I'm scared again," I whisper.

I look up at Xander. I can feel tears at the brim of my eyes.

"It's all just really scary, not just all of that stuff with him, but I mean, someone obviously wants me gone in this house, but everything is just a lot. I'm still figuring things out for myself and for who I am, and it's all just confusing and scary because I don't think I am Ashlyn Grambs. I don't think I've ever been her. I just it's hard to explain, but it feels nice when you use gender-neutral things for me" I sigh as the words start getting mixed up in my head.

It's all just hard.

Xander looks down at me, a small, soft smile sitting on his lips before he raises his arms, holding them out for me.

I hug him quickly, digging my face into his chest as he rubs my back.

"I'm proud of you for making it this far," He whispers, resting his head on mine.

"Remember, you don't have to make any decisions, especially any big ones, at the moment. You should always take your time to figure out who you are. But, how about, for now, I make sure everyone only calls you Ash, and I'll do my best to always use gender-neutral pronouns for you, yeah?" Xander asks, pulling away from the hug slightly.

I feel myself hug him tighter as I nod into his chest, mumbling a thank you.

"Just- please don't tell anyone, not yet. I want to figure it out some more first," I whisper, to which he nods.

"It's okay. I won't tell anyone until you are one hundred percent ready," Xander whispers before he pulls away.

[Xander is being supportive again<3]