The Wrong direction (one direction Fan Fic)

chapter 8

I felt my body shake.  I looked at the floor again and shook my head.  "No"  I whispered. 

Louis looked at me with even more confusion.  He crinkled his eye brows as if he was trying to understand what I had done.  I could almost see his mind trying to put two and two together. 

"Why are you hungry then?" He stated quizzically; this time, much quieter than before.

I felt his eyes burning holes into my skin.  My heart was beating twice as fast as it should.  'Should I tell him what I had done?' I thought to myself.  It would just break him even more.  He would probably at first be mad at me, and then think that I was too much to handle.  He would probably call Simon or ask Liam for advise, and they would send me to a clinic or some mental institution, and that would be the end of that.  No more One Direction.  No more Harry Styles- no more annoying fans or stupid interviews.  Isn't that what I wanted?  Didn't I want to be left alone?  To be alone to sulk in my own depression and shame.  Didn't I want to escape from this life? 

Maybe this was my chance.  Maybe this is what I have been wanting.  I turned my head up to Louis.  I was going to tell him what I had done.  Maybe then he would just send me away to let some doctors fix me.  Little does he know, I can't be fixed.  I'm too far gone to care. 

"Well...I.." I began, but my words were cut off my Liam.  "Are you guys coming with us or are you going to take the stairs or something?" I glanced up and noticed Niall, Liam, and Zayn all waiting in the elevator.  I glared at him.  Louis did too. 

I was about ready to harp at Liam, but Louis just calmly stated "We'll take the stairs."  He turned over to look at me.  "What could it hurt?  It's only a few flights." 

Liam and I nodded, and walked into the elevator.  Louis turned toward the stair way, and I followed him like a lost puppy. 

As we began to walk down the flight of stairs, the conversation once again turned to me.  "What were you going to say Haz?"  Louis asked.

I tried to respond, but my words came out in a jumble of mixed syllables.  My mouth felt like cotton.  

"What Harry?" Louis asked as his foot hit the first landing.

I took in a shaky breath.  "No, I didn't eat my breakfast."  I stated. Louis looked as pale as a ghost. I saw him suck on his bottom life in confusion.  He seemed as if he was fighting for words.  "None of it?"  He said, not bothering to face my green orbs.

 I shook my head.  I tried to read his face, but it just looked blank.  I felt like a disappointment.  I felt like a failure. 

The next minute or so we walked in silence.  I began to rethink my idea to tell Louis that I hadn't actually eaten.  He had looked so happy before, just like a four year old child about to open up their first Christmas present of the season, and I crushed that. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, but he beat me to it.

"Where is your breakfast Harry, cause I swear to God I saw you eat it."  He questioned, this time with more force.  His voice sounded angry, and I shivered behind it's venom.

I wasn't going to lie to him; I couldn't.  So, I took a deep breath, and told him what I had done. 

"Well" I began, "I had all the intentions of eating today, I really did."  I looked pleadingly into his bright blue orbs, and hoped he understood the sincerity of my statement.

"But, every time I opened my mouth to swallow, I couldn't.  I just kept on thinking about how much fatter it was going to make me, and I just couldn't do it.  So, while you seemed distracted on talking or looking away, I just spit what ever was in my mouth into a napkin."  I looked at the steps, not being able to face the shame written all over Lou's face.   

We continued to walk in silence.  I hated the echo sound our footsteps made on the cold, tile ground.  None of this would have happened if he hadn't seen my scars; my ribs. I was losing my best friend, and it was all my fault. 

Finally, after another minute or so, I couldn't take the silence any longer.  "Please don't be mad Lou." I whispered.  We both stopped walking.  We had almost reached our destination. 

Louis took my hand.  "I'm not mad at you Harry."  He said.  His voice was calmer and softer, almost how it was when I broken down in the bathroom last night.

"I know this is hard for you Harry.  You are broken, and you need to be fixed.  This" he gestured to me, "is going to take time."  He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.  "I'm here for you.  I promise that I won't leave until this is over."  Next he engulfed me into a hug.  I hugged back. 

"So, you're not going to tell any of the others?"  I asked.  He shook his head. "Not unless you want me to.  You know, to fully recover, you have to whole heartily WANT to get better.  I can't make you- Liam can't make you- a doctor can't make you. "  I nodded.

"Do you really want to get better?"  He questioned. 

I thought about it for a moment.  Did I?  Could I somehow forget about all of the pain and hurt that I had taken in America?  Could I forget about all of the cruel messages and tweets of angry fans and pap? Could I somehow learn to love myself again? Yes.

I nodded.  "I really want to get better."  I stated.  I could feel tears well up in my eyes.  I could feel my body slowly start to shake.  I looked in Louis' eyes for reassurance.

He smiled.  "Then recovery starts now."

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CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY! CHEESY!CHEESY! 

I know!  I just couldn't help it!  And it's so sweet how Louis really wants to help Harry.

Anyway, this story is NO where near over, fyi!  I mean, a full day hasn't even gone by!  This is just the beginning to Harry's recovery.  I'm sorry to you people who don't like this type of thing, but that is mainly what the story is going to be about.  If you don't like it, stop reading.  Simple as that.

For you people who are enjoying reading this story...comment and vote below :)

OH, and we are going to have some Zayn conflict coming up in the next chapter. YAY!

Hoped you liked it and will like it :D