𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯

15.

Loneliness never bothers me.

Oh I wish it would be that easy. That one came from one of my favorite quotes but I can't relate to it.

Exactly I can't.

Few days ago only I realized how lonely I have been this year and it wasn't something I noticed until I talked about it.

I told a friend "I'm not talking to him anymore".

"I'm not talking to her anymore".

"I'm not talking to this person".

"Most of the time after work, I'd go back, hit the shower maybe play some games and lie on the bed with my phone" what I told my friend.

It has been a routine ever since, when did this start?

Damn when I told my friend and the realization hit and my tears almost fell.

Honestly I have no idea but I didn't realize how painful it was to be this lonely as I was losing people slowly.

At nights, I'd sit on my house's rooftop as I faced the city with luminous lights.

Purposely not to layer any outer wear so the cold wind could embrace my skin and shiver me a bit close to death.

In between sickness and loneliness, I cried on the rooftop. I didn't care if the neighbors feel scared when they hear me.

Wondering if it was a ghost that was crying or the neighbor's baby cried.

Even crying myself to sleep feel so lonely and I had to close my mouth so nobody could hear me...