Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 24 She Needs to Stay With Us

Drift’s P.O.V.
I don’t know about this. I hate knowing Jamie will not like this and deliberately upset her for a while. Add I am part of why she’s unhappy. Even on Cybertron, there are times when helping a bot seems like hurting them for a while. Even Crosshairs looks worried about this. 
“There’s no point in thinking about what we should have done or if we met her sooner,” Crosshairs says as he hugs me, “I doubt she hates us. You know she’s terrified to lose us and tired of hurting. Our little lady is complicated, but I think things happened as they were supposed to. Remember, she was close to Bee? Somebot was watching her. If not Bee, then Optimus and Ratchet.”
She was loved, but it wasn’t enough, and now here we are. Thinking about the past does nothing, but with the relationship the three of us have, could things have been different if we had met sooner?
The two of us lay on the bed with Jamie between us.

The three of us are up three hours later. Cogman assumed we’d be eating on the beach and packed the food. I only hope Jamie will eat.
“You ok?” I hear Vivian.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
“I thought you didn’t lie? Everyone knows this is hard to watch, and we can’t help her. I know we’re feeling a fraction of what you and Crosshairs feel.”
That’s all Vivian says before hugging me and walking away. I’m tired of having the same conversations. The same stupid question if Crosshairs and I are ok. Our friend and charge doesn’t eat much, she doesn’t talk much, depression is eating away at her, and she wants to be dead. I can’t make the human I love happy, so why would we be ok?

Crosshairs tries to get Jamie to eat, but she pushes his hand away. I’m terrified that we’ll need to resort to a G-tube. The problem is if Jamie is going to yank it out, but waiting until dinner to eat isn’t good. He hugs her close with a worried expression.

Even I couldn’t get Jamie to eat. I only hope it’s because we just woke up thirty minutes ago. I lay with her on the hammock. I’m out of ideas, and it’s terrifying.

Optimus Prime’s P.O.V.
I watch Crosshairs and Drift struggle to get Jamie to eat before Drift takes her to lie on the hammock. I worry this is not because they just woke up.
“What can we even do?” Prowl asks.
“I do not know. If Jamie doesn’t feel ok being with a few of us, even her guardians...”
“We can’t let her go home! I know Jamie not feeling ok here isn’t great, but I know it’ll pass. Hopefully, she doesn’t have to go home often.”
“This is not as easy as it sounds,” I point out.
“We can help them,” Mirage argues, “though it’ll be a challenge for a while. I know she’ll have to go home sometimes, but I think this will help her.”
“So how are we to deal with how Jamie doesn’t feel ok here?” Crosshairs asks.
“I said not as easy as it sounds,” I repeat, “I know you and Drift will be careful.”
“What about how she doesn’t eat much?” Mirage asks.
“That’s another challenge, unfortunately,” Crosshairs sighs and walks into the house.
“What the frag has she been dealing with the past six months?” Prowl asks.
“I don’t know everything, but I worry it’s worse than usual.”
“I need to resume my security post,” Mirage insists.
“At this point, Crosshairs and Drift don’t dare leave Jamie alone for long,’ Prowl points out, “I know it’s not good for them, but if she doesn’t feel ok with others right now...”
“I hope we can get her to feel welcome again soon. And yes, I seriously can’t believe I just said that,” Mirage sighs.
While Mirage and Prowl talk, I go to check on Drift and Jamie.

Drift sits in the hammock, using a foot to swing the hammock as he holds Jamie. It’s concerning if she’s going to fall asleep already. Drift is reluctant to let me take Jamie for a while but lets me take her. I’m hoping to make it easier for her to want to stay here.

Drift’s P.O.V.
I can’t believe I’m afraid to leave Jamie with Optimus. He’ll know how to calm her down if she cries.

“Are you ok?” Prowl asks.
“Stop asking!” I yell as I walk by him and Mirage.

Crosshairs hugs me once I walk into our room and close the door, but I don’t think he thought I’d start crying.
“Shh, I know it’s hard, but she’ll be ok. We’ll take care of her.”
“It’s bad that we need to ensure she eats, but I can’t give her what she wants. I’m tired of watching her hurt.”

Crosshairs’ P.O.V.
He’s right; we know this isn’t good that Jamie won’t eat. I fear we’ll need to resort to a G-tube, but how to keep Jamie from yanking it out? Now she’s avoiding everyone but us, Lightning and Optimus. Thinking about how quickly things went downhill over the past three years hurts.
“I know I’ve said it’s pointless to think about the past, but it’s hard not to,” I admit, “wondering if we could have done something different. Would we be at this point with our little lady?”
“We’ve been trying to get Jamie to stay with us, but she doesn’t want to. We wouldn’t be helping if we make her stay, but being with her in her dimension isn’t doing much...I don’t know,” fragging humans! “I am so tired of being asked if we’re ok.”
I’m trying to think about when the last time Drift cried was because this feels like he’s been trying not to for a while.

Optimus Prime’s P.O.V.
“No,” Jamie cries, “I shouldn’t be here.”
That hurts hearing her say that.
“I think you are meant to be doing this adventure and meeting Crosshairs and Drift when you did. I know your bond with those two differs from your friendship with the others. It’s no secret you love Drift,” Jamie smiles hearing that, “I miss seeing your smile.”
This will be a challenge, and I don’t want to resort to Ratchet or Rung requiring that Jamie stays in our dimension for some medical reason.

I carry Jamie to the deck, sitting on a chair, not caring that Mirage and Prowl are still around.
They look at me, uncertain if they should approach. I nod, permitting them to talk to her.
“Jamie, we care about you,” Prowl tells her as he takes her hand, “everyone worries about you. We want to help. Stay with us. You’ll be ok.”
“Please stay here,” Mirage adds.
I gesture for them to leave. They’ve said enough for now. I always think if I could have done more when Jamie was younger, would we be in this position? Even having Crosshairs and Drift come to Earth with me sooner. I didn’t know there’d be the bond I’ve seen, but maybe things would have been different. I know I shouldn’t think about the past like this, but it’s hard not to.