KIBA ; STRAY KIDS

38 ; KIBA

I guess a breakup really does crazy things to ones mind. I had dyed permeant red chucks into my hair and got a nose piercing. All without telling anyone except my stylists of course. Stays loved the dramatic change but JYP not so much...

I was told off and told to take out the nose ring, but I chose not to listen which made JYP threaten to kick me out. It was a nose ring for god's sake...

I kept it in, and I haven't heard anything since. I was sure Chan had a word with him, so he might've helped calm the idea. Seungmin was doing good though, which kind of made me feel better weirdly. My fingers hadn't healed properly yet, but were doing better, so performing for the 2nd episode for Kingdom today, I'll be fine.

We were backstage, in the room which had the 2 sofas and a few chairs which faced the TV. The first group we chose to perform was THE BOYZ, and they were performing their song 'No Air'. I was sitting next to Lee Know as I watched the performance. They had a really cool water/ice concept which changed into Fire, it was super cool to see. Perhaps I lacked passion about Kingdom now, all I felt was a kind of emptiness.

I would just need to put my all into the performance.

The next team was IKON sunbaenim. I sat up better to watch this performance, after all, it was Bobby. I wondered what they were going to do for this round. The performance started and I watched intently - it was a mix of their songs Love Scenario and Killing me. It's a tragic love story performance, I sighed but smiled quickly as there was cameras on me.

Why is everything reminding me of him?

Their arrangement into a musical and then some sort of EDM was incredible and I stood up and clapped at the end of it. IKON sunbaenim were always incredible. 

"IKON SUNBAENIM, I LOVE YOU." I shouted towards the TV, making a heart with my hands. The others laughed.

After a while, the stage was ready for the 3rd team to perform. It was BTOB Sunbaenim and I was ready to listen to some beautiful melodies. They were performing 'Missing You' which is probably one of my favourite songs by them, so I sat up and settled my elbows on the tops of my knees to watch carefully. It was arranged into a sort of theatre way which was pretty cool, and they paired it with a traditional Korean concept.

I got hyped up when Minhyuk sunbaenim started doing fighting dance style during the music break. He was super cool when he did that. I kind of mimicked him. Then it was over, and I became sad again.

"Wow, I have a crush on him." I muttered, I heard laughs, and a hand pulling my shoulder. I looked back at Lee Know who was laughing at me.

"Who?" He asked loudly.

"Eunkwang and Minhyuk sunbaenim." I laughed, and he hit my shoulder again with laughs coming from the others.

Next team was us. I breathed in deeply before standing up and stretching a little. We were all in white costumes, and I felt bright like a star. Even my makeup was white - my eyelashes were painted white, and I had little white freckles over my nose and cheeks. My nose ring was white as well, so it matched well with everything else. I looked 'mystical' as Chan said before when we were getting ready.

We went backstage, sorted out our mics and stuff, and had a little speech before going on stage. The stage started with Lee Know doing a dance piece with an incredible back up dancer and that kind of set the mood. I wasn't on stage at this point, but I will be soon. It then changed to Han being the centre, and he was 'manipulated' by a light. 

Our concept was all about being controlled then being the controller. Then from Han, it was all down to Seungmin who had to fall on the floor, but we practised this a lot so I wasn't worried about the acting part. Then after Seungmin, it pulled to another scene which started with Chan. I was in the prop of a ventriloquist stage, being controlled by a puppet master. I.N was with me here, and we did the choreography perfectly.

Han rapped his part, and then it switched to Felix who was adorned in a white cloak and a bell. The wall behind him had hands coming out of it, and he was super scary looking. He hit the bell while doing his lines from side effects. The rest of us went to the wall and climbed on it, however I was on the floor.

I was below the wall because I had an important part. I attached the string to my arms and fingers before the beat dropped, and then eventually when it did. I moved aggressively and the backup dancers which were under the white cloth stood up and started moving dramatically. I just hoped I looked good.

Then I took the strings off quickly, and 4 members jumped down to start the switch to God's menu. The cloth was removed, and the backup dancers started the new dance. Changbin rapped and the rest of us danced our hearts out. Then it switched to Chan who had a cool part. A back up dancer was hanging upside down but mimicked Chans movements.

It was then Seungmin with a sick light prop and he had to fall backwards from the wall. During Seungmin's part, we attached red thick strings to back up dancers and held them to do the choreography. I was placed in the centre, and I was practically shouting the 'DU DU DU DU' from God's Menu with Felix to make it sound super heavy and dark.

We then ran off stage as it was Felix's solo part, where it would switch back from God's Menu to Side Effects. We came back of stage and stood in a circle, and we all pretended to hit the bell when the dark line ended. After that we split off and done hard and quick dance moves surrounded by back up dancers who were in all black.

Changbin was then lifted up and did the chopping move from God's Menu. It then switched back to lyrics from God's Menu and it was the last verse of the song, so I lifted the microphone up to my lyrics and growled out the lyrics while the others were doing the choreography behind me. My lines finished and we did the ending moved before moving onto the ending fairies. 

All I could do was stare down the lens manically, but I wasn't even sure if I would get an ending fairie.

I felt good after performing. I felt better - I felt like I didn't need to be sad anymore. Both of us were doing better now.