𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬. 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰-𝐈𝐭-𝐀𝐥𝐥 | South Park x Reader

❝𝐎𝐡, 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢. 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢'𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬.❞

"You look like a damn corpse, Cartman." You commented, standing right behind him and Dovah, "Last time you slept probably was in 1967."

"Shut up, Y/N!" The boy turned around and complained, huffing. The other three looked at you two.

"No, for real. Want an energy bar?" You asked, hand already reaching for one of your backpack's pockets.

"Oh. Yeah." He calmed down.

"'Kay." You took it from your backpack and threw it at him, with him catching it and finishing it in a nanosecond. "Damn, don't choke on it, dude. Chew."

"Whatever. Did you do anything interesting last night?" He asked you, not giving a damn about the crumbs left on his face.

You looked at him with a deadpan look on your face. Those four could've just gone along with their lives, going home and changing into their superhero costumes, but no. They decided to act in front of the school.

Why.

"Yes. I spent the entire night planning your murder." You stared him in the eyes, smiling sweetly, "The plan involves a lot of breadsticks."

There was a second of silence in which you stared at each other, with the others looking at the weird friendship?? dynamic you two had. They still couldn't come to terms with the fact that you and the asshole they had been stuck with since childhood were best friends.

"AHAHAHahah..ah.." He laughed out of nowhere, his laugh diminishing by the second once he took your words in. "Me neither! I did the usual, just watched some TV and went to bed!"

You just stood there looking at him with a ':)' face.

"Yup! Nothing exciting in our b-b-boring lives!" Jimmy spoke. taking your attention away from the other boy.

"Well then, I guess I'll just be seeing you guys tomorrow!" Kyle was the next to speak, smiling and leaving as soon as he was finished saying that. Jimmy walked away as well, but in the opposite direction.

The only ones left were you, Dovah, and Cartman who got closer to you two and spoke, voice low, with a smile on his face.

"You've got a big day ahead of you, New Kid, Y/N. Get changed into your superhero costumes - and wait for a message from the RACCOON."

He walked away after that, leaving you to ask yourself if he really had to talk about himself in the third person. He was aware everyone knew he was the Raccoon, right? Knowing him, probably not.

"Well I'll take my le-" You turned toward Dovah to tell him you were about to leave, only to see him spinning real fast.

'What.'

He kept spinning, and once he finally slowed down and stopped, he was in his superhero costume.

"How'd you do that? That was dumb." A random kid that walked by said.

"I have no clue how you did it and I don't know if I want to find out." That was all you managed to say.

Dovahkiin shrugged. He started walking in the direction he knew your house was in and motioned for you to follow him, which you did.

"Oh, you're walking me home today?" He nodded and took his phone out.

'I'm pretty sure Cartman's gonna put us on a mission together anyway.' You read what he wrote and shook your head in agreement.

"He's a 100% gonna do that," you sigh, "and there I thought, for a small moment, that I'd be free to laze at home all day today."

'Not with Cartman around.' He smiled.