A Sense Of Belonging (Marvel's LOKI)

Chapter Five (GLORIOUS PURPOSE)

Time Variance Authority

The florescent lights from the ceiling above her, glistening down onto Sarah as she sat in one of the TVA's storage closets. The young girl had her knees pulled against her chest. Her mind was racing with thoughts, and she couldn't quite think straight. Everything had suddenly become overwhelming. Loki's arrival. Coming face to face with him. It had just been so unexpected. Now... Now there was a high probability that Loki had discovered her secret. It only made sense given he had the ability to pick up on things easily. He was clever and witty. The whole time he had been studying her. Trying to learn more about her. Almost as if it seemed to amuse him. She didn't understand why. She just wondered what made him find her so curious. Why her? What made her so much more important from the others?

'He knows, doesn't he?' Sarah pondered.

Agent Mobius might have interrupted before Sarah was able to answer him. But without a doubt in her mind, she knew she didn't have to. Loki knew she had powers. It was only a matter of time before he somehow found a way to harness those powers for his uprising.

In the meantime, all Sarah could do was simply wait. Wait to see how things panned out.

Sarah wasn't quite sure if she was ready to rejoin Agent Mobius in the Time Theater. She knew if she returned now it was only be too overwhelming for her.

Besides, did she really want to give Loki another opportunity to play games with her?

It wasn't that Sarah feared Loki. Because she didn't. She just had never met anyone who was able to see through her. She didn't think there would ever be anyone who would understand how she felt. Because her heart and mind were both telling her that he did understand. She just had to break through the barriers and get through to him.

"Loki would understand, right? H-He would understand what it's like being feared and hated. What it's like feeling alone in a world where you don't feel like anyone understands you. I mean, he must know what it feels like, right?" Sarah muttered to herself. After all, he felt alone. Even when he had people who loved him and cared for him. He always felt alone because he was misunderstood. Like no one could understand him. He chose to push away everyone he loved in fear that they wouldn't be able to understand him either.

She thought about what Loki told Thor once. Back on Asgard, when he had tried to take over the throne after his betrayal, 'I never wanted the throne, I only ever wanted to be your equal.'

His true intentions were never to be King. To be some powerful ruler.

Loki had spent his whole life living in Thors shadow. Always being second. Because of his parentage, Odin never treated him equally to Thor. Loki spent his whole life feeling unequal, and unimportant.

Sarah was starting to believe Loki understood how she felt. How she felt that she wasn't good enough. That she was broken. That she was less than everything else around her. That she was useless. And because of that she just wanted to hide. She didn't want to be seen or heard.

She wanted to fade into the background and not be noticed. To become just a shadow. A shadow hiding in darkness.

Of course she wanted to be seen and heard. To be acknowledged. It's not like she hadn't tried. Because she had. And where did it get her? Right back to the start. Untrusted and disliked.

So a part of her gave up hope. Hope that they could ever see her as equal.

They would always hate her. They would always be afraid of her. She didn't ask for this! She didn't ask to be different from others.

It's not her fault the Time-Keepers screwed up!

Oh how sometimes she wished she could talk to them face to face. Because in all honesty, she wasn't sure she could even believe they existed in the first place. Or that they were what they were all cracked up to be. For all she knew, they could be a fiction. Just a story and could cease to actually exist. But she wasn't sure she would ever know the truth. After all, Judge Renslayer always made it pretty clear that she wasn't allowed to see or speak to them.