Behind Closed Doors

12 - Love is..

"I have to use the bathroom. I'll BRB." I sit Kat down and follow her in there. She's rinsing her face off with water.

A/N - alright play it now. And listen to it all. If you don't get to the last minute SKIP to it.

"Hey," I say. She looks at me as she dries her face with a paper towel.

Her poor skin.

"Hi," she says.

"I'm sorry. About that. My friends.. our friends, mine and Nat's they- ship us. For some reason. Natalia has no romantic feelings for me, I mean- I would hope not she just got your number."

"But. We're both single, and she doesn't have any feelings for me, and I apologize very, very much for my friends' behavior." She smiles.

"I like you. You're great. You also made my anxiety a lot better. I'm Juliet. You would know that by my name tag.. but I lost it!" I laugh, and Natalia comes in.

"Your sister is asking for you. Stealing her already, peanut? If that's how you feel then so be it." She looks me up and down and walks out.

"She's into you," she says. I look at her.

"Why does everyone say that? She rejected me the other day. She's not into me," I say.

"She's into you. She really, really is. The way she looks at you.. is something I have never seen before."

"I don't see it," I say.

"I see it. And I'm always right, so." I laugh.

"You're funny. I want to be friends with you." I hand her my phone.

"Look at me go! I cannot wait until I tell my dad about this. I tell him everything." I smile.

"I can relate," I say.

"You have that sad smile like he passed. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Do you go to Harvard, Juliet?" She nods.

"Mhm! I'm majoring in sociology and women's studies. And then I'm gonna go to UCLA to get my psychology degree."

"Good for you, love! I'm a med student. I want to kill myself." She laughs.

"Good luck, Hazel." She pats my shoulder. A very angry looking Kat comes into the bathroom.

"So when Natalia tells you to come out of the bathroom you stay in? For why?!" She says.
"Do you not love me? Do you not want to spend all of your time with me?" I laugh.

"Oh, of course I do, Kat. You're my favorite person. C'mon." I pick her up and shoot Juliet a smile. She laughs before I walk out. I go back to the booth, and Zoey raises her eyebrows and looks me up and down.

"You smell like sex," she says.

"I do not. I didn't have sex."

"You smell like horny," she says.

"What's that?" Kat asks. My face drops. We all look at each other.

"Sex? Or horny?" she asks.

"If I don't know what sex is do you think I'll know what horny is?" She asks. I laugh.
"I for real hate people who ask stupid questions," she says.

"She told you, Zoey! Are you humbled by the six year old?" I ask. She sighs.

"Very much so." I grin.

"Food! That's the food!" Kat says. Juliet smiles.

"You first. You seem very hungry."

"I am. And you know.. if you weren't soooo busy talking to my sister, maybe I wouldn't be so mad at you!"

"Kat, you can't speak to her like that."

"I can't say my feelings? Okay." She takes out her hearing aid and signs "I'm mad at you" to her.

"You can't sign it either," I sign. She rolls her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"You apologize a lot," she says, giving us our food.

....................

After we left her a very generous tip for all she put up with tonight (I forced them to) we were finally on the way home.

"That hollow feeling in your chest, as you both wordlessly undress after a fight, it's getting late, you tried your best, but then she criеd!! And you're to blame!! And love is pain!!" I shout.

"If it's easy, if it's fun, somethings missing!! There's this dream I've had.. bout mom and dad, makes me so sad I wake up cryin," I sing.

"Can't believe I'll have to live through that! Wish it wasn't mandatory dyin!!" I shout.

"We go through life, we play pretend!! Act like it doesn't have to end!" Me and Kat shout.

"It's all alright until your friend runs a red light! You watch his car burst into flames!" I shout.

A/N - (this is the part I want you to hear when I say skip the end)

"Love is- holy shit!" I shout, at the car zooming toward us.

Natalia's POV:

I watch her car burst into flames.

"No! Oh my god oh my god!" I shout, getting out of the car. Alyssa didn't even get the chance to hit the breaks. That's how fast I fucking moved.

"Hazel?! Hazel!!" I say, pulling her out. I pull Kat out of the backseat. She's unconscious.

"Kat," she whispers.

"I have to get Kat. Kat." She pushes herself up.

"No! No, she's right here, Hazel!" I say, voice breaking.

"No! No no she's not awake!" She sobs.

"Hey! Stop, Hazel! She's going to be fine! And so are you! You're bleeding! Please- sit back!" I say, voice cracking.

"I have to save her! No, stop Natalia-" I grab her arms.

"Stop, Hazel. Stop it. I have your back. I will not let her die!" I say, tears spilling down my face. She coughs up blood and falls limp on the floor.

I only have two hands.

Fuck.

"What do you need me to do?" Alyssa asks, running over.

"I need you to do CPR on Kat. She doesn't have a pulse. Do you know how to do CPR on a kid?" She nods.

"Yeah. Yeah." She starts to do CPR on her, and I pull Hazel into my arms.

"Hazel, wake up," I whisper, stroking her hair back. I let a sob escape my lips.
"Hazel please wake up!"

"I'm up.. but I see.. I see my dad," she whispers.
"His arms are open. He wants to hug me," she says, voice breaking.

"It's all gonna be okay, Hazel. I know you're gonna make the right choice. Either option. You can fight or you can go. And I won't be mad if you go."

In these past couple minutes, I've realized three things.

One. Hazel is the love of my life.

Two. I cannot fathom living without her.

Three. I need to fucking tell her before she dies in my arms.

"Hazelnut," I whisper. She looks up at me and weakly smiles. Blood stain her teeth.

"I'm in love with you. And I think I always have been. But I've been in denial. And if you wake up.. just know that I'll always be here for you. And I.. I am so in love with you." She smiles again.

Love is pain.

Because fuck, this shit hurts.

"I love you too, Talia."

A/N - hi guys. The song is love is pain by Finneas. If you didn't already know that. It's not like I put it in the beginning or put it at the top so you can listen to it while reading the chapter. Lol.

Also, go listen to fucking optimist.

I love youuuu!!💗💗