OUR PLAYLIST | JENLISA

TWENTY-FOUR

Lisa

Playlist: burn slowly/i love you | The Brazen Youth
***

I had just slid the backpack into Dad’s truck and slammed the tailgate closed when I heard Love’s whimpers. I came around the driver’s side and saw Jennie with her hands over her mouth, gasping for air.

I had her in my arms in an instant.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” I held her and tried to tip her chin up, but she buried her face in my chest and sobbed.

Her whole body shook. She was absolutely terrified.

My heart started to pound. “Jennie, what happened?” I could hear the panic building in my voice. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

She didn’t reply.

I glanced over her shoulder and my eyes glided over the black wheels of my bike and then I realized…“Is it because of the motorcycle?”

She managed a nod.

Without another word I scooped her up into my arms and ran with her outside.

It had been two years since Taehyung’s accident. She must have seen thousands of bikes by now. There was only one reason this could be upsetting her. Because it was mine.

When I set her feet down on the lawn, I held her by the arms and dipped my head to look at her. “Jennie, we’re going to work on your breathing, okay? Look in my eyes. In and out, slow and steady. Can you do that?”

She nodded and drew a careful, jagged breath through her lips.

“Listen to me,” I said, holding her gaze. “Nothing is going to happen to me,” I said slowly. “I’ll sell it. Right now. You hear me, Jennie? I won’t ever ride one again.”

She let out a shuddering breath, and tears spilled down her beautiful cheeks. Love pressed himself against our legs, looking up at her, worried.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed.

I shook my head. “Don’t apologize to me, no. Shhhhhhh…”

She took a few more ragged breaths and when she started talking again, it was so quiet I almost couldn’t hear her. “There was blood in his eyes, Lisa. His skin was scraped off by the asphalt. All the way to the bone.”

Her words came like a punch to my gut. Jesus. What do you even say to something like that?

I hated this. I just wanted to protect her, to keep her from ever having to endure anything else painful for the rest of her life. I wished I could wipe it clean. If I could take it from her and carry it myself, I would.

Every gasp and sob that came from her sliced at me like razors.

It was like my heart was split down the middle—I had one half and Jennie had the other. I knew without a doubt that from this point forward I’d have to care for her better than I cared for myself—because I could never be okay if she wasn’t.

It took a few minutes, but she calmed down.

When the trembling stopped, I kissed her forehead and held her face in my hands. Her hair stuck to her wet cheek, and I brushed it aside and tucked it behind her ear.

“I can’t watch another person die on one of those,” she said simply. “Please. Don’t ever get on one. You have to promise me, Lisa.”

“Never. I promise,” I whispered. “I’m not going to leave you, Jennie. It’s not going to happen again.”

She nodded, took a deep breath, and let me walk her to the house, and the whole time my mind kept circling back to the same thought.

I was grateful that I’d been there for her through my music in her darkest hours. That I’d reached her and touched her and held her in my arms for years—even though neither of us had known it yet.

I wanted to reach her and touch her and hold her in my arms forever.

Because I was completely and totally in love with her.