OUR PLAYLIST | JENLISA

TWENTY-ONE

Jennie

Playlist: White Winter Hymnal | Fleet Foxes
***

Lisa had her playlist on the Bluetooth of our rental SUV. On the plane we’d shared her headphones, each of us wearing an earbud so we could listen and still talk to each other. We’d had our foreheads together the whole time. I think I’d learned every fleck in her irises on that flight.

Lisa looked at me from behind the wheel. “So just to warn you, my mom’s going to put us in separate rooms. She’s kind of old-fashioned.”

“Wise woman.” It was probably safest to keep us separated, especially after last night.

“We could always get a hotel room,” she suggested, giving me a wicked sideways glance. “Everyone does keep telling us to get one.”

My cheeks heated.

I could count the number of person I’d slept with on one hand and have fingers to spare. And the last person on my list had been the only person I’d planned on sleeping with ever again. Even though absolutely nothing had felt wrong about what happened between Lisa and me last night, Taehyung’s memory had been just enough of a buzzkill to pull me from the moment.

But I doubted I’d hesitate again.

Lisa was slowly edging out all the things that froze me in time. She was thawing me from my nuclear winter from the outside in—and she was almost to my core.

She smiled at the road and I admired her profile from the side. The lines that creased at the corners of her eyes, the slope of her nose, a small freckle on her cheek, a perfect jaw and her Adam’s apple.

My eyes followed her neck down to her arm. I took in the muscles of her arm, then the kitten hair on her forearm, her hand on the wheel. I thought of how her voice sounded when she sang, the way the calluses from her guitar felt on my bare skin, and how much talent was in those fingers. Those hands wanted to touch me.

No, next time nothing would stop me.

“This is Ely.” Her whole face lit up as we began to drive through the small town.

God, I wish I could be that excited to come home.

Mom had sold the house I grew up in years ago, after the divorce, and moved to a one-bedroom apartment with her new husband. Dad lived in San Diego with his new wife. I was an only child. Taehyung’s family and I drifted apart after he died. I was still friends with his sister, Claudia, on Instagram, but we hadn’t seen each other since the funeral. Jisoo was the closest thing I had to a sibling. It must be so great to be able to come home like Lisa was.

The two-lane road ran right through the heart of the town. Restaurants and shops peppered the street on both sides. No Starbucks, but I could manage without it for three days.

We passed Lisa’s family’s business and she pointed it out as we drove by. The building was cute. It was a log house with Ely Outfitting Company on the side. They’d used a canoe as a flower box under the window, and the railing on the steps was made from paddles.

We kept going fifteen more minutes beyond the town and turned down a one-lane dirt road with a mailbox at the entrance.

I craned my neck to see the house as it came into view. There wasn’t another home in sight and there hadn’t been for most of the drive since we left the edge of town. The single-story log house was nestled in the woods, surrounded by forest so thick I couldn’t see the other side of it. The roof was green over honey-colored logs, and a porch with log banisters ran the length of the front. The smell of burning firewood filled the crisp air.