OUR PLAYLIST | JENLISA

FOUR

Jennie

Playlist: Ocean eyes | Billie Eilish
***

I looked at the pictures of Love with Lisa.

Again.

I’d been ogling them since she’d sent them to me yesterday. For all the crap I gave Lisa, it turned out I was the creeper.

Lisa was hot. No, she was beyond hot. She have short blonde hair, sexy smile, doe eyes hot. Having abs on the beach hot.

Am I swaying to girl now?

I watched a lot of crime shows, and I’d gone full forensic psychologist on the screenshot of her cell phone home page.

The time on her phone was Australia’s, so she was there, like she’d said she was.

The musician thing seemed true enough. She had a disproportionate amount of music apps. No Tinder or other hookup sites. There were Uber, Twitter, and YouTube. All the standard social media. Tons of notifications, but then she’d just landed, and she’d said she had been out of contact for a few weeks, so that made sense and actually gave her story credibility.

Overall, no glaring red flags that screamed pathological liar or mass murderer. And it was pretty adorable that Love was her wallpaper image.

I put a hand between Love’s ears and tousled his fur. “Why didn’t you tell me your mom was so handsomely beautiful?” He leaned into me and let me kiss his head.

To say I was sad about losing Love in two weeks was the understatement of the year.

Love changed me. I felt good. Better than I’d felt in ages, actually. And I realized that somewhere along the line, the tiredness that comes with grief had turned into the kind that comes from inactivity and a crappy diet of caffeine and sugar.

Love got me moving. He gave my days purpose. And now he would be leaving me in a few weeks, and I felt panic at the thought of being alone again, like I wouldn’t know how to keep doing this new and improved me if I didn’t have him.

I had been so close to just keeping him. But after I’d hung up on Lisa, I’d thought about what she’d said, that she’d been out of town and she hadn’t known Love was missing. I wasn’t a dog thief. If I had suspected for one second he was going back to a neglectful home, I’d have kept him and never looked back. But I couldn’t take him from someone who truly loved him.

Haein wandered in from the direction of the garage, wiping his hands on a rag. “All done. Water heater’s in.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks.”

“You should have let us buy it for you,” he said, giving me a look.

Haein was like my big brother. Taehyung would have been happy to know that his best friend took care of me like he did. But I didn’t like to take advantage of it. It was enough that Josh fixed half the things that broke around here for free—he didn’t need to buy the things too. I’d bought and had the water heater delivered before I even told Haein the old one had broken. Otherwise he would have just picked it up for me.

“It’s okay. I have the money,” I lied. “Took some extra commissions this week.”

He studied me for a long moment, but I didn’t break character.

“Okay.” He glanced at his phone. “Well, I’m gonna head home and tap out the sitter. Jisoo’s already on her way over with dinner.”

They liked to feed me. I think they thought if they didn’t, I’d starve to death. Six months ago I’d put my foot down and only allowed dinner once a week now. They used to be here every day, but it had started to get ridiculous. They had a baby and their own lives, and I didn’t want to feel like their responsibility. Jisoo would never say it, but I think it was a relief. Either because she thought I was getting better or because she was glad she didn’t have to schlep over here every day. I’d filled my freezer with Lean Cuisines and shocked them both when I didn’t die from malnourishment.