When He Lied

128

(Phone call)

Vance rushing towards Mesha.

Mesha:
What?

Vance:
(Heavy breathing) Tangina. Bakit hindi kita ma-contact kanina?

Mesha:
Bakit mo 'ko minumura? Bakit ka nagagalit?!

Vance:
(Sighs) No– I'm sorry. Hindi kasi kita ma-contact kanina. Akala ko kung anong nangyari sa 'yo.

Mesha:
Now you know the feeling kapag iniiwasan.

Vance:
(Confused) You didn't reply on purpose?

Mesha:
Natanggap ko mga messages mo pero hindi kita nireplyan. About your calls. . . wala talaga akong natanggap.

Vance:
Alam mo ba kung gaano ako nag-alala? I rushed here 'coz I was worried!

Mesha:
Akala ko ba nagmu-move on ka na sa 'kin? (Scoffs) Bakit ka pa nag-aalala dyan?!

Vance:
Hindi na ba ako pwede mag-alala?

Mesha:
Hindi!

Vance:
(Annoyed) Ano bang problema mo?

Mesha:
Ikaw– anong problema mo? Bakit ka ganyan? Here I am telling you I want you back pero ayaw mo akong balikan. Bakit? Pride mo ba? Nagpapatigasan ka sa 'kin?! Maghihilahan na lang ba tayo lagi?!

Vance:
Huh. It's not my pride, Mesha! (Scoffs) Talagang hindi pa tayo tapos dito?

Mesha:
Hindi. Because I don't fucking get you.

Vance:
(Sighs) You're just saying that when I'm not around you, Mesh. You act like you like me kapag hinahanap mo ko. . . kapag hindi kita binibigyan ng atensyon. Pero pag nandyan na ako sa 'yo, itutulak mo na ako– palayo. Dahil sa putanginang kasalanan ko. Mesha, you don't want me. You just crave for me. Ayokong ganon, Mesha. I still fucking love you. I just don't want you. I. . . love you. Nasaktan kita. So, I'm being resposible for what I did to you. You don't deserve shit like me. Just— be happy.

Mesha:
(Long pause) Tangina mo, ah! Sad boy ka ba?! (Cries) Marunong ka pa sa nararamdaman ko! I just don't fucking want you, too. I want you back because I love you. . . Kasi mas tumitimbang ang pagmamahal ko sa 'yo kaysa sa ginawa mo noon. Ikaw lang naman. And it's not when you're not around, it's always. All the time, ikaw ang naiisip ko. Ikaw ang gusto kong makasama. Ikaw lang gusto kong mahalin. (Sobs) Masama ba 'yun? Mahal kita, mahal mo ako, tapos hindi pwede? Bawal ba 'yun? (Labored breath) And don't tell me you're just a piece of shit that I don't deserve kasi ikaw lang naman ang nag-iisang lalaki na minahal ko na hindi nanggago sa akin.

(Long pause)

Vance:
I. . . but. . . (Pause)

Mesha:
Tapos sasabihin mo ngayon na mag-iwasan na lang tayo. Parang tanga naman 'yon.

Vance:
(Silence)

Mesha:
You're Vance Magahis. (Sobs) 'Wag mong sabihing shit ka. Naiinis tuloy ako sa sarili ko. Am I making you feel like shit? If I'm making you feel like that. . . maybe- baka maybe. . . it's just better to part na lang? Ayokong maramdaman mo 'yun, e.

Vance:
(Muffled noises)
Mesh— (cuts off).

(Mesha crying continuously)

Vance:
I'm sorry.

Mesha:
(Muffled voice) No. 'Wag kang magsorry.

Mesha:
(Sighs) Where are you? (Sniffs) Balik ka na lang dito tapos sama ako sa 'yo. Natatakot talaga ako. Just pretend na hindi mo 'ko kasama.

Mesha:
(Pause) And let's just go back to our lives. . . without each other, (Stutters) j-just like what you want.

(Footsteps)

Mesha:
That's what you want, right? Vance?

Vance:
Tingin ka dito sa likod.

Mesha:
Ha? (Sudden movement)

Vance:
I'm sorry for making you cry. (Footsteps approaching)

Mesha:
Huh?

Vance:
Hi.

Mesha:
Ikaw 'yan?

Vance:
Oo.

Mesha:
(Soft voice) Bumalik ka nga?

Vance:
Would it be okay if I'll come back in your life, too, Mesha? Lagi kong naiisip na baka sa tuwing nakikita mo 'ko nasasaktan kita. Na baka panandalian lang 'yang pagkagusto mo sa akin dahil namimiss mo lang ako. Habang buhay ko atang dadalhin 'yong kasalanan ko sa 'yo, Mesh. Ang hindi pag-amin. But after hearing you say these things. . . putangina. What did I do in this life to deserve you?

Vance:
Ikaw lang din ang laman ng isip ko. Ikaw lang din ang gusto kong makasama. You don't make me feel like shit, Mesha. You're making me feel all things. Every good thing. (Pause) (Heavy sighs) Itigil na natin 'tong iwasan, tulakan, at hilahan. Let's just be fucking together. Please, Mesha. Mahal na mahal kita.

Mesha:
(Cries) Siraulo ka talaga, Vance Earl Magahis! (Sobs) Tangina mo ka!

Vance:
Sasabog na ata 'tong puso ko. (Tongue clicks) Fuck, so fucking corny.

Mesha:
(Chuckles while crying) Tanga!

Vance:
(Laughs) (Fast movements) (Heavy breathing)
I fucking love you, too.

Mesha:
'Lika na dito, (cries) love.

Vance:
Of course. . . love.

Call ended.