ALL THE LOVELY BAD ONES | CARL GRIMES

nineteen. as it was

And why had I told my father I missed him when he had only been down the hall the entire night?

But I did. I did miss him. I missed him like he had been ripped away from me and my heart had never recovered. Yet, there he stood, with a heavy, warm arm around my shoulders.

"What, Ellie, no 'Good Morning' hug for mom?" Chanel Number Five invaded my sense of smell and I turned to my mother. She looked beautiful, when did she not? I released my father, allowing him to go back to his breakfast duties and sprung into my mother's arms.

Something didn't feel right, as she encircled me. I spent my entire life in these arms yet I felt as if though I wasn't suppose to be in them.

I was almost afraid to blink, like she might just disappear. As if she had already done so once and I feared the moment reoccurring.

"Told you I was her favorite, Colin." Mom said over my head to Dad, who I heard let out a humored groan.

"As long as I'm your favorite, honey." He replied.

"Eww, stop flirting. I'm right here." I tugged on my mom's robe with my pudgy hands. There's no dirt under my fingernails. Why would there be?

"Could you set the table for breakfast? Lemme get Jody, one second," She turned towards the stairs and shouted, "Jody!"

Jody! My brother! He was alive! But why wouldn't he be? Why was I so excited over my family's existence? This was just a normal day like any other.

It felt strange, setting the table as my parents chatted over the good weather and our upcoming trip to California. Normal things yet it settled oddly.

The plates felt real in my hands, so did the silverware. The ridges of table cloth under my fingertips. It was all real.

Jody finally appeared, sulking down the steps, half-asleep.

It took all my might not to launch myself at him. It was just a normal day, right? However all these ordinary things seemed extraordinary.

We all sat down and prayed over the food when I felt something furry brush against my leg.

I checked under the table, coming nose to nose with Pepper, my tabby-cat, and I stiffened.

Didn't Pepper run away two months before... before what?

Before the end of the world.

Before After.

"Shit."

This wasn't a normal day. Not anymore. I shut my eyes tight, trying hard to remember what I was doing before I came here. Maybe I was dead. Maybe this was heaven. But what did I do to get here?

"Eleanor Maude Tanner. Where did you learn that word?" My mother quickly admonished, horrified by my use of such coarse language.

"Jody? Are you teaching your little sister curse words?" My father asked my brother sternly.

I popped out from under the table, eyes glued to my plate full of food that night as well be foreign to me. I felt my breath leave my lungs in short spurts.

"Ellie, honey, what's wrong?" I glanced up at Mom to see her watching me with a concerned face. They all were.

"I, uh..."

"You've hardly touched your food. I made blueberry pancakes, your favorite." Dad said. "Ellie-belly?"

This wasn't right. I wasn't supposed to be at this table. Not yet, anyway.