reckless ✧ s.w.

eight

"Stop hogging the damn couch," I fidgeted in my seat to get comfortable. I was thankful we had rehearsals last night because now we have a lot of free time before the show.

"If you'd stop moving around, maybe I would," Johnson grunted as he stretched his legs again.

"Move over, bitch," Sam pulled J's legs off the couch and sat in between Johnson and I. I awkwardly coughed, desperately wanting him to leave. My stomach fluttered, and I was puzzled at how I could ever be attracted to a someone like Sam.

"I'm going outside," I mumbled--mainly to myself, practically leaping off the couch.

I passed Gilinsky and Dani all cuddled up at the front of the bus, and my stomach sunk at how cute they were.

"Get a room, you two," I teased. They laughed, going back to whatever they were doing.

Pushing open the bus door, I was greeted by a gust of smoke. My head turned to see Nate leaning against the bus smoking a joint. His attention averted towards me and I smiled, walking over to him.

"You want?" He extended his hand, a new joint between his fingers.

"Do you carry weed with you everywhere?" I teased.

"You guessed it, sweetheart." He smirked back at me, still holding the joint. I happily took it, borrowing his lighter.

"Why are you out here alone?" I quirked, blowing out a stream of smoke.

"Just thinkin' bout this life, you know? One minute I'm a small town boy from Omaha, Nebraska. And then the next I'm on tour with a bunch of great fucking people. It's crazy to think I could actually go somewhere with music, because if you asked me what I think I'd be doing in the future, I wouldn't imagine saying this." He kept his gaze on the building in front of our bus as he brought the joint up to his lips.

I nodded, "I know how that feels. Beginning junior year of high school, I was the constant party girl who attended every party in the area. Dani and I were unstoppable. But, I couldn't ever imagine giving it up to sing and make thousands of people happy. I told myself once Dan and I started our YouTube channel that I'd give up my old ways because I was so reckless. So, to think we achieved so much in a span of a year, it's absolutely surreal."

"You know at first, I didn't picture you as the girl to party," Nate chuckled. "I thought u were a bookworm, the shy girl who kept to herself in class. The one who hides in the library to do homework, to study."

I chortled, "Yeah, you'd think, huh?" I breathed out another line of smoke, my muscles visibly relaxing. "I was sort of that girl. I wasn't the rebel of the class, but I wouldn't speak unless I'd get called on to answer some stupid question. I used to be conscious about my body, my face--everything. Then, once junior year started, I reinvented myself. Started attending parties, being social, taking risks. It's like my whole personality had a makeover. Fast forwarding to now, I really couldn't give a flying fuck about how I look, even if it's in front of cameras." I finished, looking at Nate, only to see him intently staring at me. He nodded, snapping out of a daze.

"Well that shit was deep," I giggled.

Nate let out a laugh, "I know. Come on, let's go get some coffee or somethin'."

I finished the last bit of the joint, then flicked it to the ground, smashing it to ashes with my shoe. As Nate and I walked side by side down the busy streets of LA, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out, seeing a text from Sophia.

Soph: You haven't posted the photo of you and Sam! Do it now, good for publicity!!!

I groaned, not bothering to reply to the message. I love Soph with all my heart, but she doesn't understand how much I hate doing this. I hate lying to the people who have been supporting me since day one, I hate acting like I 'love' someone when I really want to punch him in the throat. After deciding to put off her task, I proceeded to turn off my phone to block out any distractions on this fine day.