Komahina//Hinakoma: Headcanons and oneshots!!

✧ What He Told Me ✧

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AU: Non-despair
Genre: Angst
Side Ships: N/A
Word Count (excluding the POV changes, author's notes, and time skips): 471
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It's my fault that I'm alone again. I know this, and I should have accepted it by now. But I can't.

I'm so used to having somebody to love. It's all I've ever wanted. Throughout my early childhood, I was taught to never rely on others. I had to keep my emotions to myself to prepare for the real world. However, those ideas had the exact opposite effect. In reality, you have no choice but to depend on others. You have to learn that, and I didn't.

Nobody understood that I hadn't learned it yet. Nobody but Nagito. He waited for me and taught me all about dependence. He taught me that it was okay to be vulnerable and feel. He taught me how to love. He taught me that I was able to be loved. But in the end, he couldn't stay with me, and I don't know why. Was he tired of always teaching me? Did he grow bored of waiting? But I thought I was ready... he told me everything I needed to know. So why did he leave me, and for someone else, at that...

I knew he could do so much better than settling for me, but I let myself be fooled by his love. I believed that his interest in me would never waver, because isn't that how trust works? Should I not have trusted in him?

...No. He's not a bad person. He just... we just didn't have the same future in mind. I think that was it.

He's in love with somebody else now. He was ready to move on before I was, and now I've been left behind in the memories of what we had. What we had.... it feels so wrong to put it like that. I thought we would last forever. That was something we both agreed on, yet here we are. Were we lying to ourselves? Was he lying to me? He went back on his word so quickly...

But I don't hate him. I can't. It was just how he felt. He taught me that there is never a wrong way to feel. I'll always believe that. So it's okay that I feel empty without him. It's okay that I miss his warmth and touch and smile. It's okay that I feel like I can never trust again. It's okay that I'm hurt about being replaced. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay...

But will I be okay?

I feel a pain in my heart every time I think about him. I can never sleep at night without feeling cold and alone. I haven't smiled in weeks. I haven't loved since. I don't like these feelings, but they're okay. It's okay to feel them. But they won't help me at all. But it's okay. I'll figure it out. I always do...

That's what he told me, anyways.