The Billionaire Throuple

Nehemiah Jones

"Oh, Ma," Scooter says, "Can I say grace?"

I swear to God if this boy tries to throw shade in this grace I'm gonna have it out with him. I'm gonna do him like I haven't done in long time. Mom nods and I take Sammy's and Andreas's hands. It's low-key perfect.

"Dear Heavenly father..." He goes on, "...and bless our family, and Nehemiah's new boyfriend" —I open my eyes and he's staring straight at me— "Sam-ntiAndi. I mean, Andreas and his friend, in Jesus name, Amen."

Everyone says Amen. I'm heated, shaking mad. Scooter knows. We haven't said anything, but he's always on Andreas's Instagram and we got a grip of pictures up. He ain't stupid, I bet when he noticed there ain't many of just Andreas and me, he put two and two.

I was about to kick the shit outta him under the table, but I stopped myself. The thing is, if he thinks he can use this for awhile, he ain't gonna waste it tonight. All we need to do is get through this dinner and we're good 'cause we gonna tell Ma ourselves.

Andreas is already digging in with the loudest Mmm's ever and Ma is eating that up. I'm glad Sammy ain't trying to outdo him 'cause some of the stuff Andreas be getting away with, can't nobody else pull off.

He's even cute being a messy eater. Ma is over there wiping roast off his chin like she's already adopted his ass. I give Sammy's knee another squeeze 'cause he's moving around food, but hasn't taken a bite. I dunno if he's waiting to see if one of us drops dead, but I told him he's gotta eat if he wants Ma to like him.

Once you insult her cooking, you might as well go on ahead and let yourself out. I told him he can't be making faces either. He's good at keeping it poker though. I'll give him that.

Ma says, "So, how'd you two starting dating?"

"Well, we w—," I say.

"No uh, not you," Ma interrupts, "I wanna hear it from him. Lemme get to know him. I can hear it from you anytime."

She purses her lips and shoos me away. If it wasn't for the throuple, I'd be all for her getting Andreas talking, making him feel like one of the family, but it's hard not to feel bad for Sammy right now. I can't be mad at Ma 'cause she doesn't know.

"Well we're both on scholarship, so we were cool with each other right away," Andreas says, "but we didn't start hanging out until he started tutoring us." He points at Sammy across the table.

Ma points at him too. "Oh, he's the one that's been helping you bring them grades up?" She asks. We all nod. "Alright then, thank you Sammy. Keep up the good work!"

Sammy takes his first bite of food, a big one. I dunno if it's to avoid talking or if that was the boost he needed to get going. Either way, I ain't gonna stop him.

"How'd you start tutoring him? Through the scholarship or how much do I owe ya?" Ma starts laughing a bit.

I fix my eyes down on the table. We didn't go over this one, but I don't wanna jump in with something different. It'll look like we're hiding something. Sammy is on his own with this one.

"Well, actually I sought him out. You see, I'm a fan of his and I wanted to make him ineligible" —Sammy claps his hand over his mouth— "eligible, I mean. Eligible for football." He clears his throat and takes another huge bite. "This is really great stuff. Do you have a recipe?"

Scooter is nearly dying over there laughing. Andreas too, but he's laughing 'cause we ain't ever seen Sammy cook. Ma ain't though. She's giving Scooter the evil eye. I'm glad she finally did. He goes quiet.

"Well, I'm glad you like it Sammy," Ma says swimmingly, "You just chop up a bunch of carrots, celery, young potatoes..." She goes on. "Always sear the meat, that's crucial..." And on.

I ain't sure if Sammy is getting a word she's saying, but he's smiling and nodding and I feel like I can finally take a breath. I've been so nervous that my plate's got more food on it than anyone's. I dig in and it's pretty good. Not Ma's best. I think she overdid it on the wine, but I'm not gonna say anything.

Everyone is cool, engaging in harmless small talk about things like grades, hobbies and the like until Ma starts asking everybody their plans after high school. "College, good," she says to Sammy. I told him to stay vague. "Which one?"

Sammy shrugs. "There are a few I've been accepted at, probably one here in state."

Ma presses him, which she doesn't normally do. "Yeah, but which one are you hoping for?"

"Hope?" Sammy asks, stifling laughter. He covers it up with a series of coughs and takes a drink of water. I'm hoping Ma's gonna let it go.

She doesn't. "So...?"

"I've been accepted to all the Ivy's, so I'm certain I'll attend one of those," Sammy says.

I'm groaning on the inside. He followed my instructions to the tee, except being vague by saying you were accepted to all of them ain't helping me out. I know it's selfish, but I don't need Ma looking down on me.

"What about you, Andreas? What are you doing?" Ma asks.

"I was accepted to my top three, but I'm not going. College isn't for everyone," he says, "There's more than one path to success."

As far as I know, his parents are making him go to college, but I appreciate the hell outta him for stepping in like that.

"And what's yours?" Ma asks, "Path to success, that is."

Andreas shrugs. "I'll probably do IG," he says, "And if that doesn't work I guess I'll just live with Sammy." My mouth drops wide open, so does his when he realizes what he said. He forces a laugh. "I'm obviously kidding! I'd stay in Nemo's room."

Mom slaps her knee laughing. "I'm gonna have to charge you rent."

There have been way too many close calls.
I'm sweating.

Of course, in comes Scooter. "So, what are you wearing to prom? A dress, tux, gown?" I know where he's going with this, but I can't stop him.

"I don't know. I look really good in all of those. I can't decide. You pick," Andreas says.

They stick their tongues out at each other.

Scooter turns to Sammy. I saw this coming a mile away. "And who are you going with?"

I stand up at the table. "Ma. I'm dating both of them," I say. She double takes. "Yeah, we're all dating each other and we're happy." Her eyes grow wide and she shakes her head. "I wasn't trying to keep secrets from you. That's why I brought them here, to tell you, after you met them and saw they're good people."

Scooter's eye is twitching. I don't know if he's broken, mad or jealous 'cause he ain't got one girlfriend, but he's speechless and that's good enough for me.

Ma tries to compose herself, but she's beside herself. "So... how does that work then? Like how?" She throws up her hands.

Andreas starts laughing. "Do you really want to know? What part?"

"The part where you get up out my house!" Ma shouts.

She stands up from her chair and everyone, but Scooter stands up with her. He's still frozen in place, and in face.

I wave my hands out to calm her down. "Ma, don't do this. I brought them here 'cause what you think is important, but if you shut me out like this..."

"Nemo, Nemo baby, wait a second," she says, "I just need some time, okay. It's a lot."

"Time for what?" Sammy asks, "I don't believe this affects you in the slightest."

I grab Sammy and start heading to the door. He went and said the wrong thing. Ma ain't stupid. She knows the uppity version of 'mind your own damn business' when she hears it in her house.

We dip out. I'm gonna have to link up with her later. She needs time to cool off.