The Woman at The End of The World. (Daryl Dixon)

seventyfour.

My blue eyes narrow when he holds his hands up, "whoa there mama bear! I mean no disrespect!"

I pound the bars again, "I'm sure; you killed one and your men killed the other."

Rick grabs my arms, "I can't let you kill him, Vanessa." He warns, "you wouldn't win against him right now. You just had those babies; you're weak." He whispers into my ear.

"Even weak, I'll take him down with me." I seethe, glaring between the two men. "He doesn't get to say their names like he didn't murder any of them in cold blood." I pull my arm back, leaving them behind in Negan's prison. "Fuck him," I shout on my way out the door, slamming it behind me.

Carol is sitting across from me at the table in my home in Alexandria. She has Kellin against her chest, grinning, "he looks like his father."

I smile, nodding. She came over from the Kingdom to meet our twins. She didn't come empty handed, either. She made dinner for me that night, staying two days to help Charlee, Wren, Tori, and I while I heal from the surgery. She brought the babies some gifts while also bringing news of Maggie giving birth to a little boy who she named after her father. To my surprise, Caroline, Kellin, and Hershel all share a birthday. I smirk inwardly, remembering the joke I shared with her about having our kids on the same day. It's one of my last good memories with Maggie.

I haven't seen her since the day I saved Negan. When Rick returned from Hilltop, he mentioned that Maggie had banned me for awhile for my actions to keep Negan alive. I don't blame her; I hold no anger towards her. Not anymore.

Carol was thrilled to learn the names of my children. Like Rick, she had a small tear escape from behind her eyes, mentioning that it was a good way to honor those we lost that we loved. Even understanding I felt the need to add the eldest Dixon as the middle the name to my daughter. Though, I reassured her Caroline would be nothing like her Uncle Merle.

Her eyes travel my face, cocking her head, "Vanessa, are you okay?" Carol asks suddenly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I shrug.

"You don't look fine, sweetie. You know, I've had postpartum with Sophia."

I wave my hand dismissively, "I don't feel disconnected from them, Carol. It's Daryl and everything and almost everyone else." I chew on my lip, "I feel alone. Sometimes, I even feel defeated and helpless." I quietly admit.

She reaches across the table, gripping my hand. "Honey, Daryl still loves you. He'll eventually understand the actions you took."

I scoff, "I follow an order from Rick and I'm the only one facing backlash. I'm angry." I click my tongue against my teeth, "but I'm no leader; just a fucking foot solider. I'm disposable. He's not."

A week has passed since the day the twins were brought into the world. Daryl left to go back to head the sanctuary, with the parting words of, "Blue, please be careful when ya are headin' back to me. Ya are weak. Have Charlee bring ya back to me when Siddiq clears ya, okay?"

Me? Weak? Sure, I'm hurting, but I'm not going to let the c-section cause me to fall under some walker or a random enemy. I am the Reaper, after all, or did my mercy distort his vision of me?

I'm limping through the community, pushing the double stroller through the roads, using the device to lean on. My lower stomach groaning under the movement. I glance down, realizing my children are asleep.

Father Gabriel waves me down. Curious, I stop, watching his advance. He smiles in greeting. He peers down at my babies when he reaches us, cooing away.