We were out of town today for work matters. As usual, Leni and I shared a room. There were two twin sized beds in our hotel room so it was all fine — not that we've never shared a bed before.
After a full day of work, Leni and I finally crashed on our respective beds and tried to get some sleep. The room was too cold that even under the thick comforter, I was shivering. "Psst, Leni," I whispered in the darkness.
Sana hindi ka pa tulog. Hinaan mo muna 'yung aircon.
When she didn't reply, I called her attention again. "Leniii."
I heard her bed creak and she replied, "Ano 'yun?"
"Ang lamig hehe," I said shyly.
Her bed creaked again and the sheets shuffled around. "Ayan, hininaan ko na. Okay na ba?"
"Thank you, good night."
"Good night."
After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I still couldn't sleep. I still felt so cold. Instead of waking Leni up again, I had a brilliant idea. I got out of bed and walked towards hers, wincing at the coldness of the floor. Luckily, she was laying on one side so I could crawl in beside her.
I got in and settled underneath the covers. The warmth of having her body next to mine was better than laying underneath the comforter alone. I sighed in satisfaction.
"Huy, Risa!" She exclaimed, obviously shocked that I was already beside her. "Bakit ka lumipat dito?"
"Sorry, giniginaw talaga ako. Tabi na lang tayo please?"
She was silent for a while, but she gave in easily. I didn't even had to put up a fight. I grinned. Yay. "Sige na nga," she said, moving so I could lie down more comfortably.
"Ang sikip tuloy, sumiksik ka pa kasi sa'kin dito eh," she said, turning again to face the other side. I placed my hand atop her arm and replied, "Sorry na, giniginaw talaga ako eh."
"Oo na, sige na. Matulog ka na. Huwag mo akong sisihin kapag nasa sahig ka na kinabukasan ha. Malikot ka pa naman matulog."
"Hey! Hindi kaya."
"Oo kaya. Para kang nagyoyoga in your sleep."
"Ewan sa'yo. Ikaw lang nagsabi nyan sa'kin."
"Baka kasi mas nauuna ka lagi magising kaysa sa mga katabi mo matulog. Hindi nila nakikita 'yung mga yoga poses mo. Super likot.
"Hindi nga ako malikot. Baka ikaw," I laughed and hugged her waist, nuzzling myself in the nape of her neck. I could feel her breath hitch in her throat. "Is this okay?" I asked.
"O-oo...okay lang."
She placed her arms above mine that were hugging her. "Ayan, para hindi ka masyadong ginawin," she said. Her arms were warm and her hand holding mine was even warmer. I hummed at the comfort it gave.
"Thank you, good night."
"Good night, Risa. Tulog ka na, maaga pa tayo bukas."
We were quiet for a while. Sleep still wasn't coming to me so I whispered, "Leni..."
I couldn't see her face so I wished that she was still awake. My front was pressed against her back. I could feel every inhale and every exhale she made, and it had me wondering. Do friends even do this?
"Hmm?"
"I don't know what I'd do without you."
My heart was beating so speedily in my chest that I wished Leni wouldn't feel it. She replied a few beats later, "Sa tingin ko, alam mo naman kung ano'ng kailangan at dapat mong gawin kahit wala ako."
"Siguro," I replied, snuggling closer to her. "Pero ayaw kong mawala ka sa'kin."
"Hindi naman ako mawawala sa'yo."
Leni's index finger traced circles on the back of my palm in a soothing manner. I closed my eyes and inhaled, her scent filling my nostrils. "Dapat lang."
I hugged her tighter. Even with all my confused thoughts about us, feelings and whatnot, I will forever be grateful to the universe for giving me this. For giving me Leni.
"Risa," she whispered.
"Ano 'yun?"
"Ano'ng iniisip mo? Hindi ka pa natutulog, ramdam ko 'yung paggalaw ng pilikmata mo sa balat ko."
"Marami."
"Gaya ng?"
"Why do you think my relationships failed, Lens?"
"Kasi kupal 'yung mga jinojowa mo? Not to mention, pangit pa."
"Ayun lang?"
"Sa tingin ko, masyado ka ring optimistic sa pag-ibig. You see nothing but the best in other people na kahit harap-harapan na 'yung hindi mabuting pagtrato sa'yo, mas pinipili mong paniwalaan na mabuti pa rin silang tao."
"But isn't that kindness?"
"It is. Pero maawa ka naman sa sarili mo. You deserve to be treated better."
"Kung..." I trailed off. Should I say it? No, baka magalit siya. Maybe she'll take offense with the idea.
"Kung ano?" She asked.
"Kung...ikaw ba, kunwari tayong dalawa gaya ng iniimply ni Kiko. Would you treat me better than they did?"
She turned to face me and held my cheek. "Mas higit pa. Kaya kong higitan kung pa'no ka nila napapasaya."
I met her gaze and I swear to all that is good in this world, ang ganda ganda niya.
Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight, her nose more prominent because of the little light, and her lips — shit, ang ganda ganda mo, Leni.
She cleared her throat, removing her hand from my cheek and said, "Anyone can treat you better than that naman. Jusko, sa bare minimum ba naman na ginagawa nila? Parang kapag nilibre kita sa date, I treated you better na agad. Binilhan kita ng simpleng sapatos, I treated you better kaagad. Sinundo kita sa work, mas better pa rin 'yun sa kung paano ka nila trinato."
I laughed at her ramblings and hugged her again, this time, our chests pressed against each other, faces closer. I lowered myself on the pillow and buried my face in the crook of her neck, my arm tightening around her waist. Her hand hesitantly wrapped around my shoulders.
Ano ba 'tong ginagawa ko?
Should I even be doing this?
My heart pounded every second that passed and I closed my eyes, only to see Leni's face reflected by the moonlight in my head.
Ang ganda ganda mo talaga.
The scent of her shampoo overwhelmed me, the feeling of her body next to mine, hugging me tightly, and her steady breathing by my ear. It was all so overwhelming. Yet at the same time, it was so comforting that I couldn't stop myself from saying, "You mean so much to me, Leni."
