It was a Saturday and I asked my staff to accompany me to the mall today. On other days, I would have asked Leni but she was currently at a very important meeting. I've also already asked Raf but he said he was busy with work. Just when we were headed towards the parking lot, I asked my staff to wait for me because I had to go to the restroom.
"Samahan ka na po ba namin?"
"Hindi na, okay lang. Mauna na kayo sa sasakyan."
As I was walking back to the parking lot after freshening up, I caught sight of someone familiar. Someone very familiar. My jaw dropped and I stood frozen in my spot.
What the fuck?
Tama ba 'tong nakikita ko?
Inside one of the restaurants was Raf, on a date with someone else. Someone that's obviously not me. And yes, I've already given them the benefit of the doubt but he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. If that's not a date then I don't know what it is.
Anger rose in my chest. Mukha bang work 'yan? 'Yan ba work niya ngayon?
I took out my phone and texted him, my fingers shaking as I typed: Kaya ka pala busy. May iba kang ka-date.
I sent it and waited until he checked his notification before finally leaving. On the way home, my phone lit up with a text from him. It read:
Where are you?
That's it? No apologies? I texted back: Sa mall where you had your date.
He sent another text asking where I was and that he was going to follow me so he could explain. I didn't need to hear his explanation. Neither did I want to. Instead of answering his question, I asked: How long have you been cheating on me?
He pleaded that we talk. He asked to meet me so we could settle it in person and explain what I just saw. I didn't reply. I didn't want to see him again. Realizing that I really wasn't going to respond to his other texts, he replied: Five months.
In shock and anger, there was no need for second thoughts. I typed the words and sent them, then turned my phone off. Break na tayo.
—
"Hi, Risa. May dala akong fruits para sa inyo ng mga bata," Leni greeted, entering the living room of my house. She saw me, seated on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.
"Huy, sabi ko hello. 'Di mo ba ako narinig?"
Anger is the first thing you feel after seeing or knowing someone's cheating on you. You feel it like it's fire spreading through your chest and you just want to scream. What comes after anger is the hardest part. You feel alone, and shameful, and very very heartbroken. I felt it as I entered my house and saw the emptiness of my home. I just remembered that the kids were at my sister's house bonding with their siblings.
It came crashing down then — the sadness, the awful feeling of being replaced, and the nagging in the back of my head that maybe I wasn't enough. Maybe I was too busy for him, maybe I can't give him what he wanted so he looked for someone else.
"Ris. Huy."
"Sa? Ano'ng nangyari okay ka lang ba?"
I finally met Leni's gaze and quietly asked, "Bakit ka nandito?"
"Bored ako sa bahay kasi wala sila Aiks. Yayain sana kita manood ng KDrama kaso gusto ko rin lumabas kaya dito na lang tayo manood. What happened to you?"
Leni sat down beside me and I let my tears fall freely, covering my face with my hands because I didn't want Leni to see my crying face.
"I broke up with him," I said in between sobs.
"Huh? Nag-away ba kayo?"
I shook my head. We didn't fight. There was no fight that happened at all. "He was cheating on me. Five months na raw. Ang tanga-tanga ko."
Weeping, I readied myself for Leni to say something about Raf's appearance, or my taste in partners, like she usually does. Or perhaps a snarky remark about me deserving this because I date those kinds of people. Something like an 'I told you so'. But it doesn't come. Instead, her arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a tight hug, cradling my head to her chest.
"May kulang ba sa'kin? May hindi ba ako nabigay o nagawa? Tangina, kaya pala I was the only one making that relationship work and trying to make it work kasi may iba na pala siya." I cried harder, fisting Leni's shirt in my hands.
"Risa," Leni said softly. Her hand rubbed my back, soothing and calming me down. "Walang kulang sa'yo. Ano ka ba naman, huwag ka ngang mag-isip ng ganyan. At kahit pa mayro'n, at alam ko na mayro'n naman talaga kasi hindi ka naman perpekto, hindi rason 'yun para lokohin ka niya."
We sat in the couch for a while, me crying while Leni just went on letting me cry and comforting me. She didn't say anything else until I've finally stopped.
"Dito ka na matulog," I sniffed, wiping away my tears and blowing my nose. "Okay lang ba?"
"Okay lang, wala namang trabaho bukas saka nando'n naman 'yung mga bata sa bahay."
We went upstairs and she turned the knob of the guestroom door. "Hindi ka dyan matutulog."
"Bakit hindi? Saan mo ako patutulugin."
"Tabi tayo."
Leni raised her eyebrow and I pouted, "Please?"
"Sige na nga," she laughed, nodding her head.
—
The following morning, we decided to go to mass at the Gesu. Then Leni asked if we could go to UPTC so we did.
"Ano bang bibilhin mo ulit?"
"Ayun," she said, pointing to an ice cream shop.
"Ice cream? Pumunta tayo dito for ice cream?"
"Oo. Sabi sa internet ayan daw best cure for heartbreak eh. Kaya tara, libre kita ice cream tapos mag-shopping ka. You deserve it naman."
Hala. Ang sweet.
My face broke out into a smile and I placed my arm on her shoulders, hugging her from the side. "You're the best, Lens."
"Alam ko."
We spent the rest of the day eating ice cream while walking around the clothing booths at the mall. Leni even convinced me to try a few clothes on even if I wasn't going to buy them.
"Magsukat ka lang tapos sasabihin ko if bagay or hindi. Kahit anong damit ha."
"Eh hindi ko naman bibilhin."
"Okay lang 'yan. Para lang masaya, diba sa movies gano'n?"
What a ridiculous idea. But I went with it anyway. She laughed as I tried on outifts that didn't suit me, applauded at the ones that fit me best. Really, it was like a scene in a chick-flick movie.
When we've finally decided to go home, our feet were tired and aching from walking around, and our tummies were full from eating too much. Leni and I walked to the parking lot where her van and my car were parked with our drivers waiting for us.
I grasped Leni's wrist and pulled her in a tight hug. She tensed up, obviously shocked by the sudden action, but she chuckled and hugged me back anyway. God, I really am thankful for her.
"Thank you for being here, Leni."
"You're welcome."
I don't remember the last time we've hugged like this — so close, so intimate, and so heartfelt. Usually, our hugs were just quick and fleeting, as a way to greet and to say goodbye. I almost forgot how fulfilling and heartwarming her hugs felt.
We parted and she smiled, "Hindi ka deserve no'n. Hindi mo deserve na lokohin. Tandaan mo 'yun ha?"
"I will. Thank you talaga."
She climbed in her van and I opened my car door, one foot already in. "Text ka lang kung may kailangan ka ha."
"Oo naman. Ingat pauwi, Lens."
"Ingat ka rin. See you next week?"
"Syempre, see you next week. I see you every week."
