before | lisrene

IV

Lisa thought that since Irene saved her, she will be spared from taunting and bullying from her seniors. The third guy, which she now identifies as Baekhyun lives a couple of houses away from her Aunt Dara's. When the guy found out that she is an orphan and is being raised by her mother's cousin, he revealed it to the entire school prompting even the sophomores and juniors to make her life miserable. A child without parents to defend her and ask for the faculty to investigate the wrongdoings being done to her is an easy target. No matter how low she looks into the ground when she walks around the school and how miniscule she is for her age, they can spot her.

Life isn't fair, Lisa thinks. She initially thought that those sophomores and juniors that are being bullied will become her allies but oh boy she was so wrong. She became their target and outlet of their frustrations for being bullied. If there's one thing that Lisa is thankful for, she can wear long sleeves over the bruises and cuts.

There are times that she was tempted to end her life and go where her parents are but she couldn't find the courage to do it. For now.

For the first three months of the school year, right at the time when the bullying started, she studied how she can move around her bullies without being detected. Those three months always ended up with failure.. She can avoid one or two but she can't avoid if there's an army of them waiting to harm her.

When her 14th birthday came, Aunt Dara asked if she wanted to invite her friends for a small party in which Lisa immediately refused. She said that she's still adjusting to the environment and she haven't met anyone that she can call a friend yet. That's a lie. No one would like to be associated with the school punching bag or else they'll be a punching bag too.

Just right before the last month of school year started, the bullying stopped and people are now ignoring her. Somehow Lisa became a little bit cheerful, but still friendless.

Two weeks ago, she found out about the rooftop of the school. If you are on the ground, you'll think that there's no rooftop since the roofing is extended and there's water drainage on the end. One day after her classes, she sneaked and climbed the stairs until she reached the top floor. After studying the structure of the building, she found a locked door at the end of the corridor that. She looked around if there are still people around. When she decided that there is no one aside from herself, she took out a pin from her pencil case to pick out the lock. According to Bambam, her childhood friend that she left in Thailand, it's a lifehack. He was right. After a minute of poking and prodding the knob, Lisa was able to hear a low click from the other side of the door. She smiled out of happiness. It's been so long since she's been happy.

The other side of the door is as dark as night. Lisa used her right foot to find where the stairs go up. She sighed in relief when she felt the raised concrete under her foot and climbed up. When she was able to reach the top, she opened the sliding door. It's just like any other rooftop. Concrete and slightly smells like piss. For Lisa, this is haven. In her Aunt Dara's, she sleeps on the couch since there's not much of a space for her in the house but still, Lisa is thankful. She sleeps late since Ten likes watching sports and documentaries but her cousin promised her his room once he moves out. It's been a year since he graduated but the luck in finding a job isn't on his side yet. In a world which Lisa doesn't fit, she sees the place as a refuge.

For the past two weeks, she's been bringing small items on the rooftop. She realized no one ever goes here. The school janitor looks young and maybe he doesn't know that the rooftop is existing.

The other day, she found out that the roofing that she can see below was just placed there to keep the students from exploring the place. Lisa finds the shade of the rooftop a relief since she can't be seen from below while she can see the ground through the gaps of the drainage.

Lisa sometimes look for Irene during lunch. The student council president is never alone. She is always with her small gang of senior student council officers. Irene is the current president, Wendy Shon is the vice and Kang Seulgi is the treasurer. Lisa tried to find similarities between her and Irene but they are heaven and earth, maybe Lisa is a few layers under the surface to be honest. Their first meeting was a fiasco but still, she can't help but develop a little crush on the older girl. She caries herself really well and the people around them respects her, some of things that Lisa used to have until her parents died.

These days Irene can be seen hanging out with Junmyeon and his cronies with their girlfriends. The other day she heard her classmates gossip that Junmyeon changed as he's trying to woo Irene. Based on Lisa's past experiences, people doesn't change. Maybe Irene is just another dumb girl that can be easily manipulated just like her ex-bestfriend Sorn who ignored her when she started going out with her 'cool' friends and Lisa doesn't fit the category anymore.

It's hard being around too many people that's why she always sneaks in to the rooftop. For now Lisa has a portable chair that is propped against the wall. She is bringing soil from her Aunt's backyard and had them divided in seedling bags. In the morning, the area is foggy while during the afternoon, the sun is up but not burning. She started planting tomatoes the other day. She plucked them from the BLT sandwich that her Aunt prepared for her lunch. She bought lettuce seeds yesterday from her allowance and planted them too.

Lisa sneaked again to the rooftop to see her mini garden before leaving for the day. There's only a week remaining for the school year. Little by little, she is studying how she can have her plants survive the summer break without too much care. She knows it's stupid to think of it but it's just a small hope, a little something to hold on so she would want to come back for her sophomore year. She likes the idea that there's something waiting for her out there.

Lisa didn't notice that she fell asleep and was woken up by a low ring of her analog phone.

yeoboseyo?

Lisa? Where are you?

I'm sorry, Aunt Dara.

I'm still at school and I fell asleep.

Okay. I'm so worried.

Come home soon.

I will, Aunty.

Lisa looked at her phone until the lights turned off. She sometimes forget that she still has Aunt Dara and Ten.
She stretched her legs and yawned. She looked at her wrist watch that is showing 7PM, noting that was asleep for almost 3 hours which is good. She and Ten started a documentary about hackers and Lisa became so invested in it. She carefully went down from the rooftop while looking around not to be spotted by janitor Heechul. She breathes in relief when she reached the ground floor. She hurriedly walked to the direction of the gates. When she pass by the bench that she started avoiding ten months ago, she sees Irene and Junmyeon in a heated liplock.

Lisa felt her entire body burn up but her heart is cold. She wanted to yank Junmyeon away from Irene but she is rooted on her place. She realized that she has a crush on Irene, which is stupid. She closed her eyes and turned away, hoping that they didn't see her.

She decided that the older girl is not worthy of her attention.

She swallowed her words 3 years later.

Also, her plants didn't live through the summer.